Parenting isn’t easy, and when it comes to discipline, there are so many different voices and kinds of advice:
- The to-smack-or-not-to-smack debate
- Time-outs
- Reward systems
- Star-charts
- Quiet-outs
Being a parent just isn’t simple. And it’s not hard to understand why: growing healthy human beings is a complex business.
So many voices!
Everywhere you look, someone is telling you to go slowly, go quickly, measure this, or ignore that! For many new parents, it’s just confusing and frustrating. So, let’s simplify this down to just 5 basic and important points for parenting:
Your love rules.
Yes, just loving your child (even on the days when you don’t like him much) is the best tool for parenting. And on days when he is cranky or demanding, you may not like him – don’t feel guilty. Just remember that you love him and you’re the most important person in his life.
Don’t try to be perfect.
Even if you do absolutely everything right, your child is an individual who will process things his own way. Be comforted: everyone makes mistakes – it’s part of being human.
Find role models closer to home
Talk to other parents you know. Sometimes all you need is to hear that everyone else is dealing with the same issues! And look around for friends and family who are coping well, and make some of their methods your own.
It’s who you ARE, not what you DO
Two parents can do the exact same thing, and achieve different results. Why? There are many factors, but one thing is certain : your child responds a lot more to how you are, than to what you do.
For example, if you smack them because you’re angry, they will respond to your anger; on the other hand, if you give yourself time to cool down, and smack them to teach them, they sense that you feel in control, and that you want them to flourish.
Your intention, emotions and the mindset are much more important than the specific type of discipline you do. Children are sharp little creatures!
Trust yourself a little more, and find reasons to enjoy the parenting journey. Children learn to trust people who can trust themselves. If you grow in your ability to trust, and learn, your child will respond to that confidence, and grow into self-sufficient adults themselves!
Here’s something that will move you!
Source: MosaicScience