mental and emotional health – Page 5

Under the spotlight: Cortisol

July 16th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

Think of cortisol as your body’s alarm system. It’s the main stress hormone which helps fuel your body’s fight or flight response in emergencies. Cortisol works with certain parts of the brain to help control your mood, motivation and fear responses.

What does cortisol do?

Triangle-shaped hormones called the adrenal glands make cortisol. Almost every cell in your body has receptors for cortisol, so this means that cortisol is involved in different actions in the body.

These include:

Managing how your body uses carbohydrates, fats, and proteins.
Acting as an anti-inflammatory when needed.
Regulating your blood pressure.
Increasing your blood sugar (glucose).
Regulating your metabolism.
Controlling your sleep and wake cycle.
Controlling your salt and water balance.
Boosting energy so you can handle stress and restoring balance afterward.

When cortisol goes out of whack

It’s important that your body produces the right amount of cortisol because too much or too little could wreak havoc on your body. Your body usually produces the right amount, but in conditions like Cushing’s syndrome (too much cortisol), and Addison’s syndrome, (too little cortisol), it doesn’t.

Symptoms of too much cortisol include:

Weight gain, particularly around the abdomen and face.
Thin and fragile skin that’s slow to heal.
Acne.
Facial hair and irregular menstrual periods in women.

Symptoms of insufficient cortisol include:

Exhaustion.
Nausea and vomitting.
Weight loss
Muscle weakness.
Pain in the abdomen.

Balance your cortisol levels

There are ways to keep your cortisol levels in check, naturally.

1. Eat anti-inflammatory foods

Blood sugar imbalances can throw off your body’s processes, including how much cortisol is released from the adrenal gland. This happens because blood sugar imbalances contribute to inflammation. To prevent this, it’s important to follow an anti-inflammatory diet. Cut out excess sugar, processed carbohydrates and grains. Replace these with healthy fats like avocado, fish, olives and coconut. Include some nuts and seeds like almonds, pumpkin seeds and macadamias. Lastly, include moderate amounts of protein, along with fibrous veggies like broccoli, cabbage, beans, asparagus and beetroot.

2. Destress your life

Stress is a big culprit when it comes to imbalances in the body, including adrenal gland dysfunction which affects cortisol levels. It’s important to take proper time out to relax. Start with doing daily meditation, prayer, deep breathing, journalling or stretching. Reflecting on the stressors in your life and doing all you can to minimise these culprits can help, too. For example, if the daily work commute stresses you out, try to reduce your travelling time. If certain people affect you negatively, respect your personal space and limit your time with them. Do things you enjoy in your downtime, like writing, watching a movie or spending time outdoors with loved ones.

3. Up your magnesium levels

Excessive stress drains the body of magnesium. It’s important to prevent this from happening as magnesium helps to balance cortisol levels by improving blood sugar, promoting relaxation, improving sleep and your ability to adapt to stress. Eat magnesium-rich foods like wholewheat, spinach, quinoa, almonds, black beans and tofu. Talk to your doctor about a magnesium supplement. It’s a great way top up your magnesium stores.

4. Sleep well

For your body to cope with stress, you need balance by way of relaxation (quality sleep). Getting a good night’s rest regularly does wonders for the body; more especially, deep sleep. Deep sleep helps rejuvenate your brain and restore your body’s internal balance.

References

How do you get your motivation back at work?

July 16th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

A feeling of dread washes over you when you wake up every morning to start your work. The days when you jumped out of bed, energised to climb the corporate ladder are long gone. Now, you just look forward to Fridays.

Where’s your motivation gone?

When you lack the enthusiasm to work, being at the office (or working from home) for eight hours can feel like a year. According to research, approximately 48% of people around the world don’t enjoy their jobs. Only 30% feel engaged and inspired while working, and 18% are disengaged, saying that they don’t like their jobs at all.

This lack of drive, if left unchecked, can result in a long-lasting slump, stress and pessimism.

Find your motivation

Psychologists have identified three sources of resistance that stops you from getting things done. Once you know these stumbling blocks, you can change how you think about them to help yourself find your drive again!

“I have to…”
Some people struggle with being delegated to, and to do tasks they don’t enjoy. This could lead to producing a poor quality of work or missing deadlines, as you’re not invested in doing the best job.
“I don’t feel right about this…”
For your motivation to last, you need to cater to your values and beliefs. If you’re doing something you don’t believe in, you’re less likely to enjoy it. For example, if your company forces you to work overtime but you value family time, your motivation to work will take strain because it clashes with something important to you.
“I can’t do this…”
Sitting with a difficult task can be daunting and make you struggle to even start. What’s more; if you believe you aren’t capable of doing something, the thought of failing may lead you to avoid doing your work altogether, and find a distraction instead. YouTube videos, anyone?

Get back your motivation

1. Count your blessings

One of the main causes of unhappiness at work is not realising and appreciating what you do have. For example, you may be unhappy at your job because it’s taking so long for you to reach your goals. Why not rather focus on the privilege of having a job, especially in a country where unemployment is so common? Next, focus on your goal to move up the ladder. What will get you there? Do you need to upskill? Hone in on practical solutions that will move you to your main objective.

2. Stick to bite-sized goals

Big goals or tasks can be daunting, so breaking up a big chore can help. For example, if you have a looming presentation, start with research first, then move on to the slideshow, etc. Create smaller tasks within the big one, so you consistently make progress. As you meet your smaller goals, you’ll feel more encouraged to continue.

3. Clock in, clock out

Most of us are guilty of packing up at the office, just to go home and work. And, working from home is even worse: with fewer boundaries between ‘office’ and ‘home’-life. Doing this consistently will leave you burnt out and demotivated as your job starts to seem all-consuming. It’s important to realise when enough is enough. Set work and rest times for yourself and stick to these deadlines! For example, don’t answer emails after 5 pm or open your laptop on weekends.

4. Celebrate small wins

A pat on the back goes a long way, so reward yourself for your personal wins. For example, after you’ve finished a difficult project or met a hectic deadline, treat yourself to your favourite lunch or leave work early that day. Celebrating small victories will encourage and motivate you to tackle bigger ones.

References:

How movies affect your mind: The science

July 16th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

There’s nothing like munching on popcorn and kicking back to watch a movie. From taking a trip to your local cinema, Netflix-bingeing or flipping through the channels on TV, there’s so much to choose from.

It’s estimated that almost 80% of the global population watches movies throughout their lives. With genres like comedy, horrors, thrillers, romcoms, fantasy and more, there’s something for everyone!

At the end of 2017, Netflix announced that its users watch more than one billion hours’ worth of content per week and the average Netflix user watched more than 60 movies for the year. With so much time spent watching movies, one has to wonder, how does it affect you?

How do movies affect us?

Have you ever found yourself sobbing during a heartbreaking scene or jumping up, frightened during a horror? While watching, we’re aware that it’s all fictional, but most movies trigger real emotional reactions.

There are many ways that you are affected by movies. Let’s explore them.

It can improve your health

If you’re a fan of comedies, good news, your belly laugh can reduce the risk of experiencing aggression and help lower your stress and blood pressure. A study by the University of Maryland found that laughing while watching a comedy makes your blood vessels expand by up to 22%, which helps lower your blood pressure. When you laugh, the tissues that form the lining of your blood vessels expand and make room for more blood flow. Choose a comedy that will let you have a good laugh for at least 15 minutes.

It may trigger bad memories

Fans of horror movies all have something in common: they want to feel alive and it seems feeling fear does the trick. Horror movies allow you to experience abnormally intense emotions. But it may affect your health negatively. The intense feelings from watching a horror can increase levels of cortisol and adrenaline in your body. These hormones can trigger bad memories. If you have a heart condition, horrors might not be a good option for you. The powerful feelings that come from watching can cause a rapid heartbeat which increases the risk of chest pain and high blood pressure in those with coronary heart disease.

It can affect your relationships

Romantic comedies are great right? They offer free relationship advice and a newfound hope that you’ll find “the one”, but research suggests that romantic comedies have major effects on your views romantic relationships. A study from the University of Michigan explored the role of men in romcoms who won’t take no for an answer. They found that women who excessively watch romcoms are more likely to accept aggressive behaviour in men. Over time, the “love conquers all” narrative, along with female characters eventually giving in to persistent males, can make this behaviour seem normal and appropriate.

Watch what you watch

The best way to prevent negative effects of watching movies is to cut down and become picky about your viewing pleasure.

Make a plan about what you’re going to watch and when. This will stop you from mindlessly wiling away hours in front of the TV. Set an alarm reminder to stop watching (if you need!) Gradually cut down on the number of movies you watch. For example, limit yourself to watching on weekends and later, change the limit to Friday nights only.
Choose movies that will make you feel good.
Avoid extremely violent movies. A study revealed that these may contribute to violent or aggressive behaviour.

References:

How nature improves your health

July 16th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

Imagine this. A lush green field of grass, colourful flowers and only the sounds of birds chirping. Ah.

Have you noticed that you feel good when you’re out and about in nature? It turns out that there’s a reason for this.

Research has found that being regularly exposed to nature can affect your health for the better. Your body is sensitive to your environment. What you see or hear can affect your mood and body systems (nervous, immune, and endocrine).

Here’s how improving your health can literally be a walk in the park.

Improves your social wellbeing

A study by the University of Illinois found that residents of public housing who lived in areas surrounded by trees and other greenery felt a greater sense of belonging. They were close with their neighbours and involved in their communities. There was also less violence and a stronger sense of community in the area.

It improves your physical health

Research has found that being in most natural settings and even just looking at pictures of nature helps lower stress hormone levels. This also helps to lower blood pressure, tension in the muscles and heart rate. A study published in the journal Preventative Medicine, revealed that nature also helps to improve sleep.

It soothes you

If you’re feeling any sort of pain, go for a walk or sit in a park, because nature helps you cope with pain. A study by physician Robert Ulrich, was done with patients who had gallbladder surgery. Some of the patients had a view of trees and others could only see a wall. According to the results, the patients who had the trees as a view were able to handle the pain after surgery better than those with the wall as a view. This could be because as humans, it’s in our genes to find nature soothing and healing. It also provides a distraction from pain.

It improves your mental health

Besides improving your physical health, nature can change negative emotions to positive ones and help you cope with psychological disorders. A study published in the journal Mind, found that 95% of people with disorders like depression, anxiety and stress who regularly spent time outside, had fewer symptoms of depression.

It helps build your attention span

If you’re struggling to retain information or pay attention, a dose of the great outdoors may help. Research published in Psychological Science, shared that just one hour of being in nature increased memory and attention span by up to 20%. In a study, a group of fatigued people were shown images of different environments and given tests. Participants who saw images of trees, mountains and lakes performed better on the tests than those who were shown images of buildings.

References:

Could magic mushrooms revolutionise healthcare?

July 11th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

Do you ever wonder if it’s possible to reboot your brain?

Medical researchers have found that magic mushrooms (also called psychedelics) can boost brain function, particularly in people diagnosed with depression. It’s been revealed that people who are unresponsive to conventional treatments benefit when treated with natural psychoactive compounds.

Magic mushrooms contain a psychoactive compound called psilocybin. This substance leads to a reduction in depressive symptoms when given to patients in clinical trials.

Brain awakening

Psilocybin is a well-known natural psychedelic substance. It’s been known to bring on therapeutic effects in people with depression. Researchers say that the drug helps to revive emotional responsiveness in the brain.

In fact, therapy along with the use of psilocybin therapy may alleviate depression by increasing a person’s emotional connection. Research from Imperial College in London has found that psilocybin can actually “reset” brain activity in people who suffer from depression.

In an experiment by the college, patients received doses of psilocybin, and reports say that they felt a decrease in depressive symptoms. MRI scans of their brains revealed that this may have been due to a reduction in blood flow to areas involved in handling emotional responses, stress, and fear.

Although the findings of the treatment have been well received, extensive and larger studies are needed to see if the positive effect can be reproduced in more patients, and eventually become a part of mainstream medicine.

According to American author of How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence, Michael Pollan, the biggest misconception people have about psychedelics is that they are drugs that make you crazy. The evidence is there that psychedelics can cause this, but in many more cases, they could actually help restore your sanity and correct emotional instability.

Scientists believe that the chemicals can allow you to essentially reboot the brain. If the brain is stuck in narrow grooves of thought, say through an obsession, fear, or the story you tell yourself; all those deep grooves that lock you into patterns of both thought and behaviour can be dissolved and temporarily suspend them in a way that can allow you to break those patterns. Goodbye obsessive-compulsive thoughts and anxieties…

Psilocybin has appeared to be very useful in treating anxiety in cancer patients, depression and addiction in both smoking and alcohol.

A large-scale study is still needed to confirm findings on its effect on smokers. Researchers are planning on carrying out larger trials with a healthy control group in which the effects of psilocybin could be compared with an existing antidepressant.

References

Why is addiction a disease?

June 6th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

When you think of a disease, addiction probably wouldn’t cross your mind, but it should.

Addiction is a disease of the brain and body which involves using substances or taking part in dangerous activities despite the negative effects. Like all diseases, if addiction isn’t treated, there are health-related consequences (for both the addict and their loved ones).

Drinking excessively and taking illegal drugs are the most common types of addictions, but there are many others.

Types of addiction:

Substance addiction is the compulsive use of drugs like cocaine, opioids, and prescription drugs like sleeping tablets, painkillers and inhalants. This also includes drinking and smoking (cigarettes and marijuana).

Impulse control disorders are when impulses cannot be resisted. This includes kleptomania (habitual stealing), gambling, pyromania (setting fires) and intermittent explosive disorder (obsessive aggressive acts).

A behavioural addiction is when someone engages in certain behaviour repeatedly, even if it causes themselves or others harm. Common ones include binge eating, having sex, self-harm, exercising, watching porn, using social media, playing video games and working.

Why willpower isn’t enough

Most addicts start out with wanting to relieve stress, feel good or escape from reality. Once they find a source for any of these, they may become addicted to it. Addiction affects the brain’s functions and disrupts the areas responsible for reward, learning, motivation, judgement and memory.

This means, if you have an addiction, you won’t be aware of how your addiction is causing problems. Even if it’s causing discomfort to others, the urge you have to get the pleasure from the activity or substance will control your behaviour.

Signs of addiction include:

An inability to stay away from a substance or activity.
Using a substance more often than in the past.
Lying to your friends and family about your use of a substance or the extent of your behaviour.
Abandoning commitments and relationships.
Being antisocial so you can rather spend time with the substance of your choice (e.g., hiding out at home on weekends binge eating).
Ignoring risk factors involved with your addiction.

The road to recovery

Addiction doesn’t just affect your wellbeing; it can also damage families, relationships, workplaces and neighbourhoods. Although it can be difficult for everyone, there are ways to cope and things you should keep in mind throughout the process.

If your loved one has an addiction:

Remember that you didn’t cause the addiction

It’s easy to start blaming yourself, but it’s not your fault. Even if you weren’t there for him 24/7, or if you used to drink with him or were rude to him at some point, you aren’t the cause.

Be a support system

The person will need help, especially during the recovery process. For example, if your loved one was an alcohol addict, you can show support by planning activities to distract him. Being available to listen and talk to him when needed is a big help, too.

Protect yourself

Your mental health is important, too. If your loved one’s addiction threatens your wellbeing in any way, get professional help or keep a healthy distance. Go for counseling through the recovery process if needed.

Approach with concern

If your loved one feels you’re blaming him for his addiction, he won’t react well. If you’d like to express concern about the addiction, do so with love and support. Tell him how his behaviour has changed your relationship and how you’d like to improve things. Offer your support, be positive and share that you want what’s best for him.

If you’re a recovering addict:

Continue your therapy sessions

It may be tempting to skip appointments or see your therapist less when you feel you’re coping again, but rather wait till you’ve been given the all-clear. Keep them updated on whether you’re having any withdrawal symptoms or other problems.

Create a safe environment

To heal, you need to feel secure at home. Get rid of addictive objects, for example, pornography if you’re addicted to sex. If you don’t trust yourself to clear out the triggers, ask someone you trust to get rid of them for you.

Ask for help!

Spending time with people who are supportive of your recovery will help you fight off addiction and stay healthy. Remember to create a routine that works for your recovery, but also be considerate of your friends’ and families’ time, too.

References

Are you feeling lonely at university? There is help!

May 11th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

It’s the time of your life! You’re all on your own with all the freedom in the world. Being at university can be one of the most exciting times of your life.

But, it can come with a downside. It may be the first time you’re away from home, and – for some – all your family and friends. But don’t worry – you’re not alone!

Homesickness

Feeling homesick at university is normal and you’re most likely to feel that way at first. This is because you’ve left behind everything that you’re familiar with; friends, family and your usual environment. The sense of loss that you feel may resolve over time as you get used to your new surroundings and make friends, but it’s also possible that to “get stuck” in this feeling. The loneliness can become quite intense at times.

This is normal. Loneliness isn’t an unnatural feeling at university. You don’t have to pretend to be ‘strong’ and hold it all together: everyone feels lonely sometimes. On top of that, you may also feel stressed, insecure and vulnerable. When you’re feeling this way, there are a few things you can try:

Fill your room with a few familiar things that remind you of home – just enough special items to give you a sense of comfort.
When you find the loneliness coming on, don’t sit in your room and let it build. Immediately find a way to distract your mind. Read a book, or go outdoors. Visit the cafeteria or library on campus. Explore your new surroundings.
Practise talking. Yes, this is exactly what it sounds like. If small talk with strangers makes you tongue-tied, do a few practice runs before an event. In the privacy of your room, chat to yourself. Stand in front of a mirror to really get a feel for being more approachable and relaxed.
What’s the most obscure, crazy, random activity you’ve always wanted to try? Maybe it’s painting, or pottery, or boxing? Chances are, your university has a club or group. Beating loneliness is about taking a step out of the scared box. Remember, none of those people know you so there’s nothing to be shy about. However, if it all works out, you may just end up with some new friends!

It’s okay to be alone sometimes

Being alone is not all bad. Healthy people are capable of being alone. This is, in fact, good for your mental wellbeing. It gives you time to explore your own mind, your likes and dislikes. When you get to know yourself better, you can handle the stressors of life better, and grow in confidence.

If all else fails

See a campus counsellor. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help. It takes a lot more guts to ask for help, than to keep struggling on your own. A counsellor can help you find ways to effectively combat loneliness and stress, and truly make the best of the best years of your life!

Good to know

Don’t blame yourself for how you feel. It’ll only make you feel worse.
Tell yourself that loneliness is just a visitor who will eventually leave.
When you’re having a bad day, remember that there’s always tomorrow.
Try volunteering. Helping someone in need takes the focus off how you’re feeling.
Don’t bottle up your feelings, talk to someone about how you feel. You can also try writing in a journal. Often, our feelings become smaller and less scary when we see them reflected back to us on paper.

References

Do you need to go to rehab for binge-watching?

May 11th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

You’ll regret it in the morning when you can’t keep your eyes open, but you press play anyway. “Just one more episode,” you tell yourself.

A recent Netflix survey revealed that 61% of users regularly watch two to six episodes in just one sitting. Does this sound familiar?

After a long day, curled up in bed with snacks, watching endless episodes of your favourite series may sound appealing, but it may not be so kind to your health. The high you get from watching your favourite shows on a loop makes you feel good but it may lead to addiction.

Slave to the screen

Hilarie Cash, a mental health counsellor who specialises in screen and internet addiction in America, explains that overstimulation plays a big role in why we binge-watch. She shared that most binge-watchers who become addicted initially start as a means of escapism.

Indulging in binge-watching makes you so used to the easy distraction and the high you get, that eventually a few episodes isn’t enough. You soon find that you’re watching more episodes in one sitting to get your fix.

Binge-watching happens easily for other reasons too:

It helps you escape your responsibilities and worries for a while.
It relaxes you.
It adds a sense of excitement to your day (your favourite show becomes something to look forward to).
Today, compelling TV shows are at our fingertips on TV or online.

What’s the harm?

A recent study found that adults who watch more than three hours of TV a day double their risk of premature death! Sitting for long stretches is more likely to increase the risk of health issues like diabetes, heart disease and cancer.

A University of Michigan study found that TV shows with captivating plots excite the brain. This makes it difficult for your mind to settle before bed and may cause sleep deprivation.

Too much TV time is also linked to the risk of becoming overweight because for most, binge-watching and snacking go hand-in-hand. Sitting for hours while snacking on junk food is not the way to health!

Binge-watching also puts your social life at risk. A study done by Marketcast, an entertainment company, found that 56% of binge-watchers prefer to watch alone and that 98% watch at home. This leaves little time for friends or making new connections.

Pace yourself

If you save a few slices of pizza, you’ll get to enjoy it tomorrow. The same goes for your favourite TV show. Don’t watch an entire season in one go, treat yourself to an episode a day. A study done by the Journal of Consumer Research found that the faster you watch your favourite show, the less enjoyment you’ll get out of watching it. A little distance will make your heart grow fonder and help prevent an addiction.

Avoid purge-watching

Be honest. Are you binge-watching because you can’t get enough or just to finish what you started? Usually, finishing tasks is a good thing, but when it comes to watching TV and specifically shows you don’t like, it can be harmful. Only watch shows you enjoy, so you’re less likely to end up in a cycle of continuous binge-watching. (You’re also more likely to run out of episodes in no time.)

Earn it

Going cold turkey with binge-watching isn’t easy, especially when Netflix releases an entire season of your favourite show. Use a reward system to make watching your favourite show productive. For example, cleaning your room could earn you some screen time, as well as finishing an assignment or hanging out with your friends.

Time yourself

Don’t know when to stop watching? Let your alarm tell you. A great way to regulate how much you’re watching is to set an alarm for when you’ve started watching and when you should stop. Listen to the alarm! You can watch again tomorrow.

References:

Looking into antidepressants? Read this first

May 10th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

Are you feeling down, or lost your motivation in life? Do you think you could have depression? Before you get started on treatment, it’s useful to know what exactly is out there, so you can make an informed decision.

What is Depression?

Depression is a medical illness that affects your mood, body and thoughts. With the right treatment you can be on your way to recovery and live a normal life. It is highly treatable, and between 80-90% of people have a good response and find relief from their symptoms. The condition is commonly treated with antidepressants and psychotherapy.

According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), around 20% of all South Africans will experience a depressive disorder at least once during their lifetime.

What are the treatment options?

Antidepressants work by helping the balance of certain chemicals in your brain. They can make your symptoms better or get rid of them completely.

There are three main types of medication:

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)
These are the most commonly prescribed antidepressants. They can ease symptoms of moderate to severe depression and are known to be relatively safe. They typically cause fewer side-effects than other types, and act on the neurotransmitter (brain chemical) serotonin (the feel-good hormone).

Serotonin and noradrenaline reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs)
This type is similar to the SSRI’s. SNRIs work by causing changes in your brain chemistry and communication in the brain nerve cell circuitry that regulates mood to help relieve depression. SNRIs block the reabsorption (reuptake) of the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine (the stress hormone) in the brain. They’re often used when the depression has painful physical symptoms like headaches and muscle pain.

Norepinephrine and dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRIs)
These affect the reuptake of norepinephrine and dopamine (which control the brain’s reward and pleasure centres). It increases the amount of norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain which brings on a positive effect in moods.

Common side-effects:

Headache
Nausea
Irritability/anxiety
Decreased appetite
Sleep disturbances
Sexual disturbances

Do antidepressants change your personality?

If taken correctly, antidepressants won’t affect your personality. They will help you function normally again on a daily basis. In some cases, people may experience a loss of emotions while on certain antidepressants. Speak to your doctor about possible side-effects. You may have to lower your dosage or switch to a different antidepressant. Antidepressants help your symptoms. Don’t be ashamed about taking them. Remember, depression is a health problem, not a character flaw or weakness.

Will I take antidepressants for the rest of my life?

It’s suggested that people who take antidepressants for a first-time episode of depression should take them continuously for six to nine months. Once an antidepressant gets working and depression is under control, talk to your doctor and decide when would be the best time to stop your meds.

Good to know

It’s important to take the correct dosage of your medication for the specified time given by your doctor. While antidepressants aren’t addictive, if you decide to stop taking them without getting the okay from your doctor, you may experience withdrawal symptoms.

References:

Tips to help your emotional child

March 7th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

We’re all emotional beings. And we all express our feelings in varied ways. Children are no different but they may have different modes of expressing themselves as they go through development stages.

According to the National Council of Developing Children at Harvard University, the emotional health of children or the absence of it, is closely tied to the social and emotional characteristics of the environment in which they live, which includes their parents, families and communities.

So, as a parent, you need to understand that those frequent emotional outbursts your child has are not just temperamental. Be prepared and know how to help him through episodes of meltdowns, defiance, and tantrums.

Make eye contact with your child

This is known to be the bridge between the brain and the exchange of energies. Looking into your child’s eyes gives you access to a deeper level of communicating. Your child will know that he has your full attention. He can see and feel the power of love and support, while you’re trying to calm him down.

Validate his feelings

Feelings are neither right nor wrong; everyone is entitled to feeling something. Tell him that what he’s feeling is natural and there’s nothing wrong with it. Acknowledge how your child feels. Introduce the concept of emotional intelligence, where he needs to identify and express his emotions and be able to evaluate and think about how he feels; while also considering the feelings of others in that particular situation. Give him time to calm down and go through all his feelings. When you stop him in his tracks, it may just worsen the situation. Give him a big hug and reassure him that he’s safe, loved and cared for.

Create a supportive environment

Children need a home that nurtures them, and helps them positive self-image, confidence, and attitude. Being physically there for your child is great, but so too is emotional support. Give him a physical outlet like sport or a walk outside when his emotions get too much.

Take the emotion out of emotions

Teach your child the different ways that we normally deal with feelings and emotions. Don’t judge certain emotions as ‘bad’. We tend to say: “Why are you angry?” or “stop your whining!”. Children can easily interpret this as judgement, and suppress certain emotions out of shame.

It helps to explore different emotions when your child is calm and collected, and not when they’re having a meltdown. This helps them develop the skill to talk about their feelings when they are in an emotional state. Talk about the positive and challenging aspects of dealing with feelings. Give him space to come up with his own solutions.

Research from the Vanderbilt University in Australia on Teaching Your Child to Identify and Express Emotion suggests that there are different ways to teach your child on how to act on their feelings.

They should…

Ask for help.
Solve problems with words.
Say it, don’t do it (say “I am mad” instead of throwing toys).
Tell a grown-up.
Take a deep breath.
Describe what they’re feeling.
Think of a different way to do it.
Relax and try again.
Ask for a hug.

PS… a little tickle never hurts

Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies. It also releases oxytocin, a hormone linked to affection, care and tenderness. It plays an important role in the bond we create with the people we love. The more positive physical contact we share, the more oxytocin we release. Your child will also receive a good dose of endorphins; the hormones associated with pleasure and wellbeing. So, make time to have fun with your child, play practical jokes, tell him a funny story and invite him to share his own stories. Laughter does a child good.

References:

This is how your body handles fear

March 7th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

Fear is an involuntarily reaction to potential threats. Think of it as your body’s way of surviving. Your brain activates certain reactions when your senses detect a threat: the reactions in your body, is what you experience as fear.

When that happens, you’re faced with two options: run for your life or fight and give it your best shot. This is a common reaction amongst mammals. It’s known as the fight or flight response. When you face your phobia of dogs, heights, lightning or dolls, a part of your brain regulates fear within the temporal lobes known as the amygdala.

Fight or flight?

When stress triggers the amygdala part of your brain, your ability to think rationally may be overridden: your body diverts all its energy to facing the threat that’s causing you to panic.

The release of hormones and neurochemicals increases your heart rate which makes you breathe much faster. Your blood pushes away from your stomach and intestines, and floods to your muscles to prepare you to fight or run. When your body goes into this mode, your heart rate and blood pressure go up. Hello adrenaline!

What does fear do?

Fear restricts the way you think as your mind is only focused on the two options. This is why you’d be less likely to be creative and have an open mind-set while you’re busy panicking.

Research suggests that fear is hardwired into the brain. Neuroscientists have found networks in your brain that work together. This begins in the limbic system (an emotional motor system responsible for the experience and expression of emotion) and runs all the way to the prefrontal cortex (responsible for complex cognitive behaviour), and back.

So, when these networks are electrically or chemically stimulated, they produce fear, even when there’s nothing that could trigger it. Feeling fear is neither a sign of weakness or abnormal. Being afraid is part of a normal brain function. In fact, a lack of fear may be a sign of serious brain damage.

Breathe it out

The worst part of fear is when your body shuts down. You may have heard this many times, but taking deep breaths during a stressful situation does work. So, learn how to breathe the right way. Mastering conscious control over your breathing is the best thing you can do for yourself. Practise deep, even, controlled breathing when you aren’t scared. Slow and even breathing helps slow down your heart rate. It can also make you feel like you’re more in control of the situation, which can help block some of the effects of stress.

According to research from the University of Minnesota fear can affect the way our brains work. The brain reacts immediately to signals from the amygdala, instead of the usual rational processing. This overactive state is sometimes referred to as ‘the amygdala hijack’: the brain perceives events as negative and remembers them that way.

Living under constant threat can affect your health too.

Fear weakens your immune system and can cause cardiovascular damage, gastrointestinal problems (ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome). It can lead to accelerated ageing and even premature death.
Constant fear and tension can damage the formation of long-term memories and wreak havoc on certain parts of the brain. This can make it even more difficult to regulate fear and can leave you anxious most of the time. With chronic fear, the world looks scary and your memories confirm that.
Fear can interrupt processes in the brain that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and make sense of other information, reflect before acting, and act ethically.
This affects decision-making which is likely to make you feel intense emotions and react impulsively.

We can’t get rid of fear altogether – and we shouldn’t: it’s a natural part of our body that protects us from danger. What we can do, is find ways to manage our fears, and to seek help for any irrational fears. If you have extreme fears or phobias, why not talk to one of our doctors? They’d love to help!

References:

Is your soulmate out there? The truth about compatibility

March 7th, 2018 by The Hello Doctor Team

You both enjoy long walks on the beach, chocolate ice-cream and reading. You finish each other’s sentences and it feels like you’ve known each other for a lifetime. You must be soulmates, right?

Not necessarily.

Just because you and your sweetheart are on the same wavelength, it doesn’t mean it’s forever. It seems logical to search for someone who has the same values as you, and enjoys similar activities, but research suggests that compatibility may not be the only key to finding your one true love.

A closer look

Dr Ted Hudson of the University of Texas did a study on married couples and he found that there’s no real difference in compatibility between couples who are happy or unhappy. Whether the couples were compatible or not, some still found happiness and contentment in their relationships. During interviews, these couples said that it was them who made their relationships work – and not compatibility.

The unhappy couples, on the other hand, blamed their problems on incompatibility and vouched for its importance in making a marriage work.

Arranged marriages have a reputation of being old-fashioned and outdated, but professor of Sociology at Stanford University, Michael J. Rosenfeld, along with international happy surveys, found that they aren’t any different to love relationships. Arranged marriages tend to last longer and couples are found to be much happier because they don’t usually consider the option of divorce as most Western cultures tend to.

Kim McKay, a clinical psychologist at the Meraki Assessment and Therapy Centre shares that compatibility can’t be a stable factor as to whether a relationship will work or not, because as an individual changes and develops, so too does the compatibility factor. Therefore, how “compatible” a couple is will change through different life stages. Couples in relationships that last, know that they’re not always compatible and are able to manage their differences well and able to resolve conflict.

So, if compatibility is not the way to make a relationship last, what is?

Appreciate your differences

Your ‘sameness’ can’t be the foundation of your relationship, so learn to appreciate each other’s differences. Your significant other might be patient while you’re hot-headed, or you might be spontaneous while your partner is reserved. As frustrating as these differences might be, it is useful to reframe them as complementing or balancing you out.

Show and respond to affection

The main difference between the relationship you have with your loved one and all other people, is romance. Studies have shown that relationships where partners show affection are more successful than those who are closed off. So, be intentional about those ‘thinking of you’ text messages, holding hands, kissing and looking each other in the eyes. Even when you’re not feeling very romantic, these gestures will cultivate feelings of closeness and connection, and build a stronger relationship.

Always be kind

Remember, you know your partner’s strengths and weaknesses like no-one else. If you’re angry or upset after an argument, don’t use that against them by attacking their Achilles heel. Take a deep breath and avoid a low blow which may damage your bond in future. Talk less, listen more. It will save a lot of unnecessary apologies down the line.

Give your partner what they need

Whether it’s having an official date night, switching off your phone when you’re with them, or showing physical affection, it’s important to cater to your partner’s needs. You’re do things differently, and you also experience things differently. Tune into what makes them feel loved, and make an effort to show your love to them in the way that works for them. If you like camping and they like fancy dinners, rather take them on a dinner-date. It will show them you love them, and strengthen your emotional bond.

Be honest and trustworthy

You’re at your most vulnerable in a relationship, so it’s important to be honest and trustworthy, which helps to develop respect. This can be shown by talking openly, listening to each other, compromising when there are opposing views, honouring boundaries, being kind to one another and supporting each other’s goals.

Continue dating

Just because the initial dating or honeymoon phase is over, don’t stop dating each other. Continue doing unexpected thoughtful things, chatting until late on the phone, planning romantic dates and even working on your goals together. This will help keep you invested in your relationship and create fantastic memories together.

References:

Kim McKay, Clinical psychologist at the Meraki Assessment and Therapy centre
https://www.gottman.com/blog/psychology-finally-reveals-the-answer-to-finding-your-soulmate/
http://www.loveisrespect.org/content/respect-in-healthy-relationships/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intentional-insights/201701/12-tips-happy-long-lasting-relationships
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-27049/10-essential-secrets-to-making-a-relationship-work.html
https://www.thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/the-truth-about-compatibilitys-importance-in-a-relationship-hint-not-much/