They say two things are inevitable; death and taxes. But while you could (but shouldn’t) cheat the taxman, no-one can cheat death.
Often, however, families are unprepared for the death of a loved one… papers aren’t in order, words are left unsaid, no pictures or albums to remember them by. And once their loved one passes, they’re not sure of how to deal with the grief, loss and possible regrets.
A rollercoaster of emotions
Medicine has made leaps in treating what were once fatal illnesses, and while many are grateful for extra time, this also becomes emotionally taxing. Previously, being diagnosed with a terminal illness and knowing that there wasn’t much time left gave families a sense of finality. This meant saying what they’d always wanted to say, and for some, travelling the long distances to say their goodbyes.
Today, treatments that prolong life exist for many illnesses. Cancer, for example, has multiple treatment options, and patients and families experience a rollercoaster ride of emotions as they prepare themselves for death or a few more years of life. In these cases, counsellors are available to support the family and patient as they absorb the news of impending death.
Some people may find that absorbing themselves in researching the different treatments helps to cushion the blow of a loved one’s departure. Others put together pictures and videos to record their loved one’s life.. It’s also a time to accept the inevitable; that death cannot be avoided.
The patient themselves has feelings and thoughts to process, as they face their own death. They have no sense of what lies beyond. In this case, they may find comfort in their religion or turn to other avenues to ease their fear of dying and mourning the end of their life. They may also want to end feuds, to avoid feelings of regret. Be there to support them on this journey and if possible, involve them in the funeral arrangements. This will give you all a sense of control over something.
Getting paperwork in order
Paperwork is an inevitable part of modern life; it’s always best to have your will, life insurance and funeral policies up to date and let a trusted family member or friend know where these documents are stored. Nominate someone to deal with your bank and other accounts and assign someone power of attorney to manage any other legal affairs that will need to be dealt with.
Sometimes, attending to these matters helps people cope with the impending loss of a loved one, distracting them from the pain of grief.
Look at healthcare options
Often, the quality of life of a dying person is difficult to manage, but loving homecare, or a hospice, can make the final days easier. Look up local hospices in your area, for when you and your family member know that the final days are near. It’s difficult watching a loved one’s health and mental abilities deteriorate, but hospices are designed to care for the terminally ill. You can also look at getting a nurse in to care for your loved one at home if they share they want to be cared for in their own home.
These arrangements will go a long way towards helping you come to terms with your loved ones impending death and can help you to be sure that their last moments are peaceful.
