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The Cure for Loneliness

It is the month of love, and as relationships are brought to the fore, it can become apparent just how lonely you feel. Distressing millions around the world, loneliness reportedly affects around 1 in 10 South Africans, both young and old. Since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, however, it is affecting increasingly more, and in some ways has become an epidemic on its own.

Being lonely isn’t the same as being alone

Loneliness is not the same thing as enjoying alone time. Rather, it’s about feeling physically and emotionally isolated. Essentially, loneliness refers to the difference between the amount of social connection you have, and the amount that you want or need.

Despite how common loneliness is, the impact it has on both physical and mental health is often underestimated. Persistent loneliness is not only emotionally painful, but has a negative effect on heart health, immunity, sleep patterns, brain function and overall longevity.

Approaches to curing loneliness

The growing cost of loneliness has led researchers to investigate different interventions to “cure” it. These include interventions that aim to:

  1. Improve social skills – some experts believe that loneliness may be due to not having the right kind of “people skills” needed to make and maintain relationships
  2. Enhance social support – professional help and counselling to those who are experiencing loneliness as a result of a change in situation. Examples may include someone who as relocated, has lost a loved one, or is a victim of abuse
  3. Increase opportunities for social interaction –focus on creating opportunities through organised group activities. (In the time of Covid this may be a challenge, but it’s not impossible. Many resort to online game-nights, online dinners or socially distanced walks.)
  4. Changing maladaptive thinking – maladaptive thinking refers to a belief that is false, and without support. Over time, chronic loneliness makes you more sensitive to, and on the lookout for, rejection and hostility. In other words, in a social situation, you immediately think the worst.

A study done comparing the effectiveness of each of these different types of interventions found that those aimed at changing maladaptive thinking patterns were, on average, four times more effective than other interventions in “fixing” loneliness.

How you think has a big effect on how you feel

To get a better handle on your feelings of loneliness, you need to face, and get comfortable with your fears. Your first step is to have a one-on-one chat with your inner voice, and begin to change the way you think.

Download a “thought record”, or make your own, to identify those things that worry you most about social connection and interaction. For example: “People are going to laugh at me for asking a stupid question”. Once you have all your thoughts down,

  1. Challenge the evidence for those thoughts. Has anyone ever really laughed at you?
  2. Replace the maladaptive thoughts with more realistic, balanced alternatives. Instead of “I can’t contact my her – she will feel I’m a nuisance!”, consider “Maybe she will be glad I reached out. She may also want to have some connection and contact.”
  3. Nip those negative thoughts in the bud. As soon as you feel a negative thought “I don’t belong here, I’ve just been invited out of pity”, catch yourself and replace it with something positive. “Good news, another invite… whoop!”

Changing your perspective and becoming more positive isn’t going to be one of those overnight success stories, but as they say, practise makes perfect. You don’t need to spend hours pouring over lists of your worries, but you should start becoming more aware of how your thoughts could be sabotaging your connections, and more importantly, how they could change your life for the better.

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One key habit to improve your mental health in 2021

When you want to improve your health, you focus on the basics: eat better and exercise more. But here is something else to consider: your social life. We’re not referring just to how often you go out with friends, but how your relationships impact your overall health.

Connecting to friends is a healthy habit: more so now than ever

On the back of a difficult 2020, fostering friendships and nurturing relationships is more important now than ever. Several studies have been able to show that positive social support, whether that comes from friends, family members or a partner, is strongly associated with better mental and physical health. A robust social life can lower stress levels; improve mood; encourage positive health behaviours and discourage damaging ones; boost cardiovascular health; improve illness recovery rates; and aid virtually everything else in between – including your resilience to stress and improve immunity. A strong social life can also boost the effects of already-healthy behaviours, such as exercise.

The power of isolation

The pandemic has left many feeling sad, lonely, and anxious. The virus itself has contributed to physical isolation, but the waiting, wondering, and hoping to return to some sort of normality, has had a far deeper impact on mental health.

Social isolation is linked to higher rates of chronic diseases and mental health conditions. In fact, isolation can even start changing the cells in your body, leading to more inflammation and a lowered immunity! One study puts the heightened risk of dying from loneliness in the same category as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, being an alcoholic or abusing other substances and not being active. It also surpasses health risks associated with obesity. In fact, studies show that loneliness increases the risk of early death by 45% and the chance of developing dementia in later life by 64%…. Let that sink in for a minute.

Digital “friends” don’t count!

Thanks to social media, we’re more connected than ever before, but also possibly the loneliest. If you think about how you interact with your social media “friends” – by either liking a post or sending a sticking-out-tongue emoji, you’ll understand the difference between that and an actual conversation, in person. Interestingly, South Africa has been ranked in the top 10 “loneliest” countries, with around 24% of the population living alone.

Social interaction in the time of COVID

Face to face time with friends and family is powerful in terms of health benefits, but a FaceTime, Google duo session or Zoom chat can also be beneficial. Texting and calling are great, and important, but when it comes to feelings of connectedness, we need to see each other’s faces. One study found that people who regularly used video chat were only half as likely to develop symptoms of depression compared to those who used email, social media, instant messaging or no form of digital communication at all. Why? “Seeing” a friend or loved one in “person”, looking at their facial expressions, returning a smile and sharing familiar glances allows for deeper communication. It also prevents the opportunity for misinterpretation that so often happens in text messages.

Prioritise your health by prioritising your social interactions and staying connected. Do this by carving time out every day for meaningful personal interactions. Some examples could be

  • Set up a recurring video or zoom meeting time (and stick to it). Without this, weeks can go by without touching base.
  • If you miss movie nights or watching your favourite show with your friends, have a “Watch Party” by getting everyone to watch it at the same time, and text each other in the background.
  • Online board games or multiplayer app games can help generate some healthy competition.
  • Do a virtual tour of a museum or famous landmark that you’ve always wanted to travel to together.
  • Find other ways of connecting virtually. There are many creative solutions, such as doing an online fitness challenge, or a Youtube cooking class with your BFF. Be creative, take chances! You’ll be surprised at how much this can impact your overall well-being.

If you’re comfortable with meeting up in person, exercise with a friend, arrange a quick catch up over lunch, share a meal or commit to a weekly coffee (while all the time maintaining your distance). Regardless of how busy you may be, spending 5 to 10 minutes talking, smiling and laughing with give your health a serious boost. Connected conversation with friends and family can make your social life (and theirs!) feel a lot more rewarding.

4 unusual signs of depression in men

Depression is more than just a low mood. And, especially with guys, the presentation can be so unusual, that it doesn’t look like depression at all. Even your doctor could miss the diagnosis!

Here are some of the uncommon and overlooked symptoms of the condition. Recognise the signs:

1. A short fuse

For most, depression equals severe sadness, but can also manifest as being short-tempered or snapping at others. In the same way that some people with depression find themselves crying without knowing why, others may find themselves irritable and angry without understanding it. According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, 54% of people with depression feel hostile, grumpy, argumentative, foul-tempered, or angry. While it’s typically seen in men and teens, a quick temper can affect anyone.

2. Aches and pains

Unexplained pain could be a red flag for depression – that is, if there’s no medical diagnosis for the pain. A study in the journal Pain, found that people with depression are four times more likely to have intense or disabling neck and lower back pain than those without. Headaches, stomach cramps, digestive problems, stiffness, or greater sensitivity to pain in general may also be linked to depression.

3. Trouble making decisions.

Can’t decide what to wear today? Not sure what to eat for breakfast? Depression may be to blame. Depression can be mentally distressing and energy-sapping, which can take a hit on your cognitive performance. You may find that simple, mundane decisions you wouldn’t normally think twice about become weighty or seem paralysing.

Occasional boredom is normal, but if you’ve lost interest in something you once enjoyed, be concerned. The sadness that comes with depression often goes hand-in-hand with the inability to feel pleasure. Things stop sounding fun and may not seem worth the effort anymore. You slowly start to drop activities, and turn to less demanding tasks like watching TV or sleeping.

4. Rapid weight changes

Weight loss is usually greeted with happiness by most. But unintentional and substantial weight loss over a short period could be a symptom of depression, since the condition can suppress your appetite. You may find yourself going from eating three meals to only one a day. On the flip side, depression can also rev up your appetite and cause you to binge eat, which can lead to significant weight gain and feelings of guilt and shame.

Get help

Don’t ignore the symptoms – take them seriously. Don’t wait and hope that they will go away. Depression can be damaging and even fatal if left untreated. Get professional help as soon as possible. The majority of people who seek treatment will be helped, says the South African Depression and Anxiety Group.

Speak to your doctor. He/she will do a physical exam to evaluate any underlying illness which may be causing or worsening your depression. A treatment plan will then be set up to tackle immediate symptoms and long-term help.

If you need urgent help, contact the South African Depression and Anxiety Group. To contact a counsellor between 8am-8pm Monday to Sunday, call: 011 234 4837. You can also try their 24-hour helpline: 0800 12 13 14.

Take care of yourself

  • Follow a healthy, balanced diet to get enough B-complex vitamins, amino acids, and minerals. Without enough B-vitamins, minerals, protein, and carbohydrates, your nervous system can’t function properly. This, in turn, can also lead to depression.
    • Enjoy a variety of foods.
    • Make starchy foods part of most of your meals.
    • Choose unprocessed grains and starchy vegetables like butternut and sweet potato.
    • Fish, chicken, lean meat or eggs can be eaten daily.
    • Eat plenty of vegetables and fruit every day (at least five portions in total).
    • Add dry beans, split peas, lentils or soya to your diet.
    • Have milk or yoghurt every day (choose low-fat products).
    • Use salt sparingly.
    • Eat fats sparingly, and choose vegetable oils rather than hard fats.
    • Go easy on sugary foods and drinks.
    • Drink lots of clean, safe water.
  • Get active. Regular exercise releases endorphins, which can bring on a sense of relief and contentment. All it takes is a 30-minute session to get your fix. Try walking, jogging or cycling.
  • Try deep breathing exercises like meditation. New research published in Translational Psychiatry found that when meditation and aerobic exercise were done together twice a week for eight weeks, depressive symptoms and overwhelming negative thoughts were reduced by 40%.
  • Keep a mood diary to figure out triggers that set off depressive feelings. Go back and regularly read your entries to track your trigger points and find ways of arresting those feelings before they hit.
  • Get involved in volunteer work to help bring on positive feelings of worth and value. Studies have shown that volunteering helps you feel more socially connected, which can ward off loneliness and depression.

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Are you depressed or just under pressure?

Let’s face it – life can be pretty tough sometimes. Especially when ‘sometimes’ is the year 2020! Not all of us cope in the same way, and that is okay. Some of us take the crises in our stride. For others, the uncertainty, stress, uncertainty, and fear-driven headlines get too much, and they start developing symptoms of depression.

Are you just going through a temporary struggle, or should you consult a doctor? about depression?

In most instances, those hard-to-shake symptoms of fatigue, forgetfulness and feeling flustered are more likely to be signs of a burn-out, which can still be serious if you continue ignoring them.

Depression, on the other hand, is a very serious mental health condition. And it seems to have become almost mainstream – if you consider the number of people who are diagnosed, receiving treatment or taking medication for it. But what is depression really? Feeling unhappy at work? Experiencing those burn-out symptoms we mentioned above? That’s not depression, especially if the symptoms are just fleeting periods of feeling sad, anxious or isolated.

Signs of depression

  • Agitation
  • Believing that things won’t get better, or what you’re doing is pointless
  • Difficulty sleeping at night
  • Losing interest in hobbies and activities that you normally enjoy
  • Having suicidal thoughts and tendencies
  • Not being able to shake your negative mood
  • Generally feeling empty, isolated and like no one understands what you’re going through

What contributes to depression?

When it comes to causes of depression, genetics also play a big role. So, if your mother or father suffer from depression there’s a very real chance you will too at some stage of your life. Alcohol, drug abuse, traumatic experiences and dread diseases (like cancer for example) are also factors which can lead to depression.

Finding help

If you’re reading this, and your symptoms sound a lot like depression, it’s very important that you get help. Depression is a tangible illness, and it CAN be treated successfully, not just with medication but also with positive lifestyle changes and therapy.

So don’t be ashamed! Speak to one of our doctors, through the Hello Doctor app. Remember, the sooner depression is diagnosed the sooner you can begin treatment and start on the road to recovery.

How your food influences your feelings

The foods you eat play a vital role in your overall health.  Making healthier food choices won’t only help control your waistline, but will also help lift your mood, and give you a long-lasting boost in energy and focus.

Your brain is responsible for producing the neurotransmitter serotonin, which helps keep you happy, calm and relaxed. Providing your brain with sufficient fuel, allows it to produce the right amount of serotonin to regulate your mood.

Studies have shown that there’s a link between diet and mental health. Even though there isn’t a single food that will improve your mental health, a healthy balanced diet plays a critical role in keeping you both healthy and happy.

Eating for mental health

Healthy fats found in fish and extra virgin olive oil have important anti-inflammatory effects that play a role in decreasing the risk of depression.

Whole grains like brown bread, rice and pasta are fibre-rich foods and help promote the growth of good gut bacteria.

Fruit and vegetables are packed with important nutrients and antioxidants that help prevent cell damage throughout the body.

Fermented foods like yoghurt can help encourage the growth of good gut bacteria.

Nuts, seeds and legumes are good sources of plant-based protein, healthy fats and fibre.

Don’t forget to drink water, it will keep you hydrated and help you feel more alert and productive.

Brighten up your mood with these foods

Berries: Blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries are all high in vitamin C, which can help your body withstand the negative impact of cortisol, a hormone that’s released when you’re stressed.

Beans: Black beans and lentils are all rich in magnesium, a mineral that supports relaxation and calmness.

Dark chocolate is full of antioxidants, supporting a positive mood and healthy cognition.

Fish: Mackerel, salmon, sardines, and trout have high amounts of Omega-3 fatty acids, which can alleviate anxiety.

Herbal teas like chamomile, have calming properties. Black, green, white and red (rooibos) teas are also rich in antioxidants.

Leafy greens like kale and spinach are loaded with mood-moderating magnesium.

Foods to avoid

If you struggle with drastic mood changes and low energy levels often, avoid these foods and drinks that could be likely culprits:

  • Caffeine
  • Alcohol
  • Sugar
  • Bread
  • Pasta
  • Potatoes
  • White Rice
  • Processed foods
  • Fast foods

Top tip: when you start a new diet, slowly introduce new foods to allow your body to adjust. This will help determine whether you have any food allergies or not.  

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Could you be suffering from burnout?

Your alarm rings; it’s time to get ready for work. But that’s the last thing you feel like doing. You’re strung out and even the thought of facing your day is just too much. Is this just normal stress, or could it be burnout?

Think of burnout as a car running out of petrol, and the engine giving out. This is your body, packing up, giving out, and yelling, “Emergency!” It’s a state of physical and emotional exhaustion, as a result of long-term stress. Unlike normal stress, burnout doesn’t allow you to leave the negative feelings behind once you leave work and head home. It spills into every part of your life, leaving you drained.

Although burnout can be difficult to spot, there are a few warning signs.

  • Taking your frustrations out on others
  • Isolating yourself
  • Procrastinating
  • Skipping work and other responsibilities
  • Feeling trapped and helpless
  • Having a cynical and negative outlook on life
  • Feeling tired and drained most of the time
  • A sense of failure and constantly doubting yourself
  • A change in appetite
  • A loss of motivation

Get back on track

Burnout is not a permanent condition, and making a few changes in your everyday life can help you climb out of the rut.

Get some balance

If you’re constantly working overtime and find yourself practically living at work, it would make sense that you’d feel frustrated and worn out. Find a healthy balance between your work and social life, and make time to do things that you enjoy like hobbies or spending time with friends.

Relax

Try some new ways of relaxing which will ease stress from both your body and mind. You can try yoga, meditation and even deep breathing which will activate your body’s relaxation response.

Avoid negative people

If you’re burnt out, you’ll have a negative outlook on most things. Try to surround yourself with positive people who will help lift your spirits. In cases where you can’t avoid negative people, such as challenging family members, be proactive about not getting caught up in the toxicity. Limit your time with them, choose not to engage in drama, and simply walk away if it gets too much.

Catch some Z’s

Nothing will help you to feel like yourself again like sleeping well. Quality sleep helps your overworked body and mind to heal, so aim for at least seven to eight hours of sleep every night. Try going to sleep and getting up at the same time every day, wind down by doing something relaxing, and invest in blackout curtains for a restful slumber.

Find value

A lack of motivation could be because you don’t see value in your work or personal life. Focus on the aspects of life that you do enjoy. This will help you find motivation and purpose again. For example, do you enjoy writing poetry in your spare time? Does painting make you feel relaxed? What makes you smile, even if it’s once in a blue moon? Focus on that thing and do more of that to make you smile more often.

Reset

For some of us, even these small tweaks aren’t enough to get your mind and body back to a healthy space. In these cases, you might need time off from work. A longer break, and even some sessions with a therapist could be just what you need! The main thing is to not go at it alone – reach out and ask for help: our doctors are available 24/7!

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Why does winter make me SO blue?

It’s winter again, and while you may feel a little sunny this time of the year, there is a point where winter-blues may be worse than just a passing mood-swing. In fact, for some of us, the cold, dark season can actually trigger a type of depression, called Seasonal Affective Disorder – also known as SAD.

What Is SAD?

SAD happens at the same time every year.  Symptoms typically start around Autumn, continue through the winter and resolve when the seasons change back to warmer conditions.

Symptoms of SAD: 

The symptoms for Depression is basically the same as for SAD, with the main difference being that SAD only happens during the cold, winter months. Depression can be around through any season, and has no clear end-point. Symptoms include:

  • Feelings of Depression, Hopelessness, Anxiety
  • Loss of energy
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Heavy feeling in the arms or legs
  • Social withdrawal
  • Oversleeping or difficulty sleeping
  • Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed
  • Changes in appetite and cravings (not eating enough, or over eating)
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Weight gain

What are the causes for SAD?

Although doctors don’t quite understand SAD, soe evidence suggests that your genetics may play a role. There are two key hormones affected by the condition: Melatonin, and Serotonin. Where serotonin controls appetite, sleep, memory, temperature, mood and other behavioural functions, Melatonin is controls the sleep and wake cycle.

For those with SAD, the temperature drops affect these hormones, which disrupts their body clock, making them feel less engaged, more tired and overall just not themselves.

The bottom line: For people who have SAD, a change in temperature and drop in sunlight can potentially put their internal body clock out of sorts.

Who’s Most at Risk of SAD?

According to studies, women are more prone to SAD than men, and the further you are from the equator, the higher your risk, probably because light is more disrupted during winter and summer. Also, people with a family history of SAD, or people who have bipolar disorder or depression have a higher risk for SAD.

How is SAD diagnosed?

Since SAD may look very similar to Bipolar disorder, hypothyroidism, depression and mononucleosis, your doctor will need to do a few tests to exclude these conditions. Beyond that, one of the biggest indicators of SAD, is that your symptoms always correlate to the change in seasons, and this can be determined with a thorough medical history.

Can SAD Be Treated?

For people with mild symptoms, simply spending time outdoors or in the sunshine can be enough! So, pull back the curtains, get outside and do a bit of exercise – it’ll do you wonders!

There are also herbal supplements and remedies that can help relieve symptoms, but it isn’t clear how well they work for SAD. It’s important to talk to your doctor before trying any herbal or natural remedies, so you can be sure they won’t react with or affect any other medication you might be taking.

  • John’s Wort is a herb traditionally used to treat a variety of problems, including depression. However, it can interfere with a lot of prescription medications
  • Omega-3 supplements can help relieve symptoms and they have other health benefits too. Top sources of omega-3s include oily fish such as herring, salmon, mackerel and sardines. Omega-3s are also found in certain grains and nuts and grains, but it may not have the same effect as fish oil.
  • This is a natural hormone which helps regulate mood. Changes in season can affect the level of melatonin in your body.

Apart from these, other interventions can also be helpful, such as:

  • Acupuncture
  • Counselling
  • Yoga
  • Meditation
  • Exercise
  • Massage therapy

So, if the dark months are worse for you than for most, maybe try and get to your doctor to make sure you don’t have SAD. All it requires, is some self-care to support you through this time of the year, until the spring blossoms appear again!

The power of pets to boost your health

Owning a pet can do more than just make you happy, they increase the likelihood of you exercising, engaging in outdoor activities and socialising. In addition, being a pet owner can help manage loneliness and depression by giving you companionship, as well as having something to talk about with fellow pet owners.

How do pets affect your health?

According to the American Heart Association, pet ownership is an important form of social support that can benefit patients with heart disease or stroke. For example:

  • Dog owners are 31% less likely to die from a heart attack or stroke than non-dog owners.
  • People with cardiovascular problems who had a dog living at home had a 65% reduced risk of death.
  • Dog owners who walk their dogs regularly face a 33% lower risk of diabetes than those who don’t own a dog.
  • Dog parents are more likely to reach their fitness goals than those without canine companions.
  • They can catch cancer early: several pet owners have reported that their dog saved their lives after they noticed they were constantly touching at, sniffing or even licking a tumour hidden underneath the skin.
  • Research at the University of California at Davis concluded that Alzheimer’s patients suffer less stress and have fewer anxious outbursts if there’s a dog or cat in the home.

Regular walking or playing with pets can decrease blood pressure, cholesterol levels, triglyceride levels and feelings of loneliness.

It was found that having a pet in the home could improve immunity and decrease a child’s likelihood of developing allergies (related to their home) by 33%. It’s believed that the dander in pet hair might serve as a natural form of immunotherapy for babies and children

Keep your pet healthy

Pets can sometimes carry harmful germs that can make you sick even when they appear healthy. Whether you have a dog, cat, horse, or any other pet, be sure to look for a veterinarian for your furry one.

By keeping your pet healthy, you’re also keeping yourself and your family healthy. Regular veterinary visits are essential to good pet health. Provide your pet with a good diet, fresh water, clean bedding, and regular exercise. Keep up with your pet’s vaccines, deworming, and flea and tick control. Some pets can carry ticks that can spread serious diseases to people.

Contact your veterinarian if you have any questions about your pet’s health or if you think your pet may be sick.

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Don’t let the holidays get you down

Not everyone feels happy and festive during Christmas season. We get that. The holidays can be hard. For those without big families or a bustling social life, days stretching on endlessly can make you want to curl up into a ball and just sleep away the season.

We’re not saying you need to be the life of the party. But you can enjoy the holidays with a few small adjustments to suit your state of mind.

Plan a small activity every other day

The thought of filling up your calendar chock full of parties can be overwhelming. No need for that. The American Heart Association says that doing things you enjoy is a natural stress-buster. Spend a day at home just puttering about, but the next day, get into your car and go for a drive. Or take yourself off to a local park and wile away a few hours reading under a tree. Being out in public and amongst others will do a lot to boost your morale. Alternate your days this way so it doesn’t feel all too much.

Tick off a major task

Maybe you’ve always wanted to paint your bedroom. Well what better time than now? The manual labour and fairly involving task will occupy your mind and body. Pick out paint samples, grapple with a paintbrush, and browse online for interesting themes and motifs. This absorbing task could actually grow into your festive season project and before you know it, you have a beautiful new room at the end of your holiday break.

Get your priorities straight

Meeting those year-end deadlines, planning the perfect holiday, catching up with your friends… the pressures of trying to do everything over the holidays is enough to send anyone into a tailspin. And, if you’re prone to depression, this added stress can take its toll on your mood. Instead of trying to do it all, set realistic goals about what you can and cannot do. Keep your expectations reasonable. Spread the joy out over the holiday season rather than placing the importance on one specific day or event. Most importantly, learn to say no. In doing so, you’re less likely to become overwhelmed.

Feel your feelings

More and more, experts are advising the importance of feeling what you feel. The great philosopher Robert Frost famously said, “The only way out is through.” Apply this idea to your state of mind. Don’t run away from your feelings, don’t bury it under junk food or alcohol or other vices – feel what you feel, let it all out in whatever shape or form it comes. This could mean crying your heart out for an hour. Let it out and then go about your day. This is where the “distraction” comes in – think of that vent session as having ticked something off your list. Now you can go read a book, take a walk, or talk to a friend.

Hurting? Help someone else

Your feelings and state of mind are important. You feel the way you feel for many reasons. But nothing puts your own wellbeing more into perspective than helping someone else. Spare a thought for others who are going through the same. Maybe you’ve wanted to volunteer at a soup kitchen all year. Well, now’s the time! Or take the time to go read with the elderly. Research shows that pets and animals in particular can do a lot to bring peace and calm to a depressive state. Head on over to your local SPCA and spend a day with some furry friends.

If you’re worried that you might be suffering from depression, why not chat to our doctors? They are ready with advice you can trust!

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Six stress-free holiday hacks to give you peace of mind

Tis’ the season of delicious food, relaxation and bonding with your loved ones. Unfortunately, it’s also the season of dealing with your grumpy uncle’s complaints about your cooking, trying to make your budget stretch and cleaning up after many people. Before you get your fairy lights twisted in a knot, here are a few holiday hacks to help you out.

That’s a wrap

If you have a big family and tons of friends, gift wrap could become more expensive than the actual gifts. You’re probably tempted to buy specific wrapping for each person and cute gift bags, but it’s really a waste because most people just rip the paper off anyway. Instead of splashing out on pricey wrapping paper, get a large roll of brown paper to wrap the gifts with and finish off with a bow made of string. It’s chic and minimalist, and your budget will thank you.

Be kind to your pockets

It’s tempting to splurge on fun, fancy and fantastic gifts for your loved ones, but don’t forget that January is a long way off. Be honest with yourself about how much money you can spend and create your budget from there. There are different ways to make your money stretch. Keep an eye out for bargains, get creative by making homemade gifts and buy some gifts in bulk.

Befriend your freezer

Cooking can be fun – and time consuming. Hack your way through the hassle by cooking batches of food in advance and freezing. For example, cook dishes like potatoes and certain veggies, and then freeze, defrost and reheat them in the oven on the day that they’re needed.

Chill out your drinks

After a hearty meal, a lukewarm drink is the stuff evil is made of! If you’ve forgotten to chill your drinks in the midst of the cooking madness, don’t stress. Wrap the bottles tightly in a damp kitchen towel, and pop them into the freezer. Heat travels more quickly through dense materials (like wet cloth), so your drinks will soon be ice-cold and ready to pour in roughly 20 minutes.

Throw tradition out the window

Some traditions like giving gifts are timeless, but others aren’t worth the effort or stress. If having the festivities at your home every year is stressful, suggest rotating houses every year, or going out for lunch. If making Christmas pudding after cooking a big lunch is too much work, serve ice-cream instead. You might feel anxious about suggesting or making changes, but you’ll benefit in the long run, by saving time and effort – and your sanity!

Drive safely

Family road trips, rushing around for last-minute gifts and late-night fast food runs… you spend a lot of time on the road during festive season so be extra mindful of being safe. Pack an emergency kit into your boot, don’t drink and drive and always wear your seat-belt. Also, remember to keep track of your petrol tank to prevent running out of petrol when you most need it.

And last, but not least: Make sure you’ve installed the Hello Doctor app, and you are signed in. This way, you’re only be one click away from a doctor’s advice, anytime, anywhere!

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What is a personality disorder?​

Your personality is influenced by your experiences, environment and inherited characteristics.

A personality disorder usually develops by late adolescence or early adulthood and can be caused by different environmental and genetic factors. It affects:

  • The way you think of yourself and others
  • How you respond emotionally
  • How you relate to others
  • Your capacity to control your behaviour

There are 10 specific types of personality disorders that cause different dysfunctions in personality. Without treatment, these disorders can be long-lasting.

Some common disorders include:

Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder

A pattern of preoccupation with control, perfection and orderliness. With this condition, you may be hyper focused with schedules and details.

Narcissistic personality disorder

Someone with this disorder may have a grand sense of entitlement, self-importance and lack empathy. They commonly take advantage of others.

Paranoid personality disorder

People with this disorder often assume others will harm or deceive them. They have a pattern of being suspicious of others and tend to see them as spiteful or mean.

Borderline personality disorder

Symptoms of this disorder commonly cause problems in personal relationships, and can include poor self-image and impulsivity. There may be suicide attempts, ongoing feelings of emptiness and intense anger.

Treatment

The most common treatment for personality disorders is psychotherapy. During psychotherapy, you learn about your disorder, what’s causing your symptoms and your experiences. You’ll get to speak about your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Your therapist will help you understand how your disorder affects others and you’ll be taught how to recognise as well as to manage and reduce the symptoms.

Psychoeducation may also be prescribed. This is where the person and their family are taught about the illness, treatment and ways to cope.

There are no specific medications to treat personality disorders. Medications like antidepressants, mood-stabilisers and anti-anxiety medication may help to managet some symptoms.

Severe cases of personality disorders may need the help of your doctor, a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a social worker and your loved ones.

Managing a personality disorder

  • Besides treatment, there are some ways that you can manage your symptoms.
  • Learn about your condition – it will help you and your loved ones understand your symptoms.
  • Move more. Exercise can help manage symptoms like depression and anxiety.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. These can worsen symptoms, especially if taken along with your medication.
  • Join a support group. Being around people who understand you will make you feel less alone.
  • Stay on top of your check-ups.
  • Stay connected with your loved ones, isolation can worsen your symptoms.
  • Write in a journal to express how you feel.

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These male celebrities struggle with their mental health too

Still very much a taboo subject amongst South African men, mental health has caused many to feel that the only way out is suicide.

Suicide doesn’t discriminate, and while it may be hard to believe that the rich and famous also face everyday issues, just like you, they also experience life’s ups and downs. These famous men shared their experiences.

Prince Harry

Prince Harry revealed that he suffered from panic attacks in the aftermath of his mother’s, Princess Diana, death.

Harry is reported to have said that things started to change when he was able to evoke the loss of his mother and his inner anger with the help of specialised therapists, especially in recent years, and to open up to the emotions he had kept bottled up.

Trevor Noah

The South African Daily Show presenter revealed his struggle with depression and honoured the person who helped him realise his mental illness, comedian Jim Carrey.

In an interview Noah says he thought he liked sleeping for weeks on end at times, up until he read Jim’s story. He then realised what was going on found a way to fight it.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Johnson, a former professional wrestler turned Hollywood movie star, tells of sinking into years of depression after witnessing his mother’s suicide attempt.

He says depression never discriminates and it took him a long time to realise to not be afraid to speak up.

Big Sean

The American rapper revealed his struggle with anxiety and depression through a series of Instagram posts.

Big Sean explained that he wasn’t feeling his usual self and struggled to find out why. He got professional help and started practicing meditation.

According to the rapper this made him realise that he missed clarity in his life. Clarity about who was surrounding him and what he was doing.

A helping hand

According to the World Health Organisation, worldwide, more men committed suicide than women, with 7.5 suicide deaths per 100,000 women and 13.7 suicides per 100,000 men.

If you feel sad, don’t enjoy activities you previously liked or need to talk to someone, don’t suffer in silence. Reach out to these helpline numbers for support.

  • Lifeline – 0861 322 322
  • Suicide Crisis line – 0800 567 567
  • SADAG Mental Health line – (011) 234 4837

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