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Beat the post-holiday financial blues

As the cheers of “Happy New Year!” fade, you’re not the only one left with an unwelcome visitor: Janu-worry. But you can overcome the longest month of the year with some strategic steps.

Thanks to the dreaded combo of post-festive platsak and back-to-school expenses, on top of the usual bills, it’s easy to feel flatter than a fizzled-out firework in January. The good news is that dealing with this financial stress is possible – but it requires a strategic approach combining immediate action and long-term planning.

Here’s how you can address the holiday-spending hangover, and avoid opening your door to it next time.

  1. Focus on positive action.

Beating yourself up about the financial fallout doesn’t solve your problem. Practise self-compassion – financial setbacks happen to us all. So, before diving into the bills, breathe, take stock, and remind yourself that you have the power to make positive changes.

  1. Stretch available funds.

Look for practical ways to extend your available funds. For example, instead of ready-made meals or takeaways, cook at home with affordable ingredients, and explore free or low-cost entertainment for the family, like outdoor activities or community events. Small adjustments in daily spending make a significant difference. Consider an app like Spendee to help you track your spending and stick to your budget.

Tip! Look at the little amounts. For example, it’s not “just one coffee-to-go”, it’s R30-R40 you didn’t need to spend. Buy it daily and you’re looking at R210-R280 a week, or around a thousand rand per month.

  1. Clear debt quickly.

Tackling debt head-on is crucial for financial recovery, so pay off as much as you can now. Prioritise high-interest debts, consider creating a debt repayment plan, and find out what debt-relief assistance your bank offers.

  1. Call in expert help. 

Overwhelmed and don’t know where to start? It could be time for debt counselling. Debt counsellors assist with creditor negotiation, debt consolidation and creating repayment plans. There is a fee, but it’s worth it if they can get you back to financial freedom. Check the National Credit Regulator website to find registered debt counsellors.

  1. Prevent 2024 Janu-worry NOW.

To avoid falling into this trap again, start planning NOW. While 2023 is fresh in your mind, list your festive season expenses, including gifts, food, travel and entertainment. Now that you know which situations led to overspending, you can be proactive in avoiding them. If you bought things you didn’t need in the Christmas sales, rather spend the day having a picnic.

To help distribute the financial load, set up a dedicated savings account for 2024’s festive season expenses and transfer a manageable amount each month. Come December, you’ll be giving yourself the best gift of all; a future free of Janu-worries.

 References

Keep those resolutions going

Of all the New Year’s resolutions that people make, nearly 40% of them will be to exercise more and around 15% will be to eat better… both worthy health related goals. However, despite best intent, one study found that while 75% of people stick to their goals for at least a week, less than half (46%) are still on target six months later.

Most people are aware that healthy behaviours have some general benefit, otherwise they wouldn’t be “healthy.” The real problem is translating the vague idea of lifestyle choices being “good” into practical (and realistic) recommendations.

Reframing your resolutions away from the idea of instant gratification (I will lose 5kg by March!) and towards a longer-term goal (I will live an extra 14 years!) may help give you the motivation you need to be one of the 54% that are still on track by June!

Recent studies have identified the key lifestyle habits that not only add years to your life, but life to your years. These are:

  1. Don’t smoke
  2. Maintain a healthy weight
  3. Be physically active
  4. Eat a balanced diet
  5. Drink alcohol in moderation

The combined impact of these healthy behaviours is an improvement in wellbeing and longevity, but each behaviour itself has a tangible positive impact on your health. The key is to start looking for ways to ensure these behaviours become part of your daily life.

Whether you have already made changes to your lifestyle, started off well but have slipped back into old habits, or haven’t decided yet on what to change, there is no better day of the year than today to start thinking of your long term health and how you’ll be spending all your extra years!

References

Empower yourself: Beat workplace bullying

There’s no two ways about it: being bullied isn’t just tough in the moment, it continues to take a toll in other areas of your life.

Bullying leaves a trail of destruction in its wake. It shatters your self-esteem and increases your risk of anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance and self-harm. It can even result in physical health problems like high blood pressure, stomach pain and poor appetite. At work, it can lead to poor performance, absenteeism and reduced productivity.

When someone repeatedly and deliberately aims to cause you physical or emotional pain, it casts a cloud over your life. While bullying can be physical, workplace bullying does tend to be more subtly psychological. So in reacting you may even feel like you’re being too sensitive. It could take the form of malicious gossip against you, making sexual comments, humiliating you in front of others, or even deliberately setting you up for failure in work projects.

How can you break free from the burden of workplace bullying?

Speak up

Bullying will not go away if you ignore it, and the longer you wait, it’s likely to get worse. Try to nip it in the bud before it starts by speaking up calmly and assertively. If it’s been going on for some time, or dealing with the bully directly isn’t possible, you may need to inform your employer’s human resources department or follow a formal grievance process. The CCMA advises that you document any incidents of alleged bullying when they happen; note if any witnesses are present and keep this as evidence. This will be vital to prove the allegations. It’s also important to unburden yourself to someone supportive outside the organisation, whether it’s a friend, family member, religious counsellor or licensed therapist.

Remember, it’s not your fault

It’s natural to blame yourself for being targeted and to internalise the cruelty, but a bully’s behaviour says much more about them than it does about you. By beating yourself up about it, you essentially become your own inner bully. Remember that people hurt others for many reasons, including mental illness, past abuse, poor social skills, resentment and narcissistic personality disorders. This doesn’t excuse their behaviour but understanding that it’s not your fault will help to reduce their power over you.

Strengthen your sense of control

Bullying can make you feel like you’re at the mercy of another person. When you feel in charge of your life, you’re better placed to cope with stress and escape bullying. A study published in the International Journal of Mental Health Promotion concluded that by increasing our awareness of our resources (both personal strengths and external factors, like support networks) and learning how to utilise them, we can transform stress into coping. It may be helpful to see a counsellor to help you realise your worth and learn how to make the best of it.

Take self-compassion seriously

Self-compassion – mindfully treating yourself with care and kindness – builds resilience and helps you weather storms in your life. Think about how you would support a loved one or friend in a similar situation and extend the same kindness to yourself.

Find support

Contact the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) for advice on how to access mental health support if you, or a loved one, are struggling with feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, anxiety and other symptoms of depression. You could also contact the Commission for Conciliation, Mediation and Arbitration (CCMA) if you have exhausted your organisation’s formal complaints process.

Remember, standing up for yourself is not a selfish act – by your courage in  confronting bullying you may be standing up for someone else even more vulnerable than you.

References

  • Ditch the Label
  • Malcolm Lyons and Brivik Attorneys Inc.
  • PositivePsychology.com
  • TEDx Talks
  • World Health Organization

Is COVID-19 related to your genes?

It’s something that has puzzled researchers from the start of the pandemic – why do some people experience severe illness, and others do not? These differences extend beyond known risk factors – like age, and existing disease.

To answer this question, researchers began studying the genetics of people exposed to the SARS-CoV-2 virus and were able to identify links between developing the disease and variations in specific parts of their DNA.

What they found was that a region on chromosome 3 (called 3p21.31) is significantly associated with severe COVID-19 and increased risk of respiratory failure and death. The possible reason for this is that this region of DNA is specifically associated with inflammation – one of the biggest culprits in COVID-19 disease severity.

Interestingly, what they also discovered was that there is a protective region on chromosome 12, associated with a reduced risk of intensive care for COVID-19 patients. They suggested that this region plays an important role in counteracting viral attacks, which would explain why people with this variation did not get as sick.

So, what does this mean for you? Well, unless you have a genetic test, you won’t know if you have the COVID-19 genes. The point to remember is that your genetic make-up is not your destiny (so don’t blame your parents) – you actually have the power to outsmart them. Your lifestyle choices can essentially turn your genes ‘on’ or switch them ‘off’. Decisions you make about how much TV to watch (hopefully as little as possible), and what foods to eat (lots of fresh food and no fast foods) can actually make changes at the level of your DNA. This, in turn, can lower your risk of disease… be that COVID-19, heart disease or cancer.

References:

Tips for a kinder festive season

It’s been a stressful year. In fact, it’s been a stressful two years! As we head into the holiday season, it’s important to take the time to not only reflect on a turbulent 2021, but also to focus on finding ways to slow down. Christmas decorations, shopping madness, carols on repeat, and general end-of-year craziness, can take their toll, often leaving you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Here are some ideas on how to stay grounded these holidays so that you can get the rest you need, before taking on the new year ahead.

  1. Be mindful

Mindfulness is about bringing your attention to the present moment with an element of non-judgment and acceptance. Being mindful is when you notice that you are get caught up in thoughts about the past, or the future, and returning your attention to the present — the only reality. This is so important at a time when emotions can run high. You can practice mindfulness by:

    • observing your breathing and consciously focussing on lowering your stress response
    • going for a walk in nature and noticing the small details that you ordinarily wouldn’t
    • starting a journal to reflect on your thoughts and feelings in a safe way
    • connecting more with people and your surroundings, and less with technology.
  1. Be still

Finding calm in a world of chaos can be a tall order, but your mental health has never needed it more. The constant overload of news, work and social media can often lead to anxiety, fear and depression. While you can’t always tap out of life and avoid these things altogether, you can approach them in a calmer way. Ways you can do this:

    • Listen to music, which calms the activity in your brain. Listen closely – the more you notice, the less your mind will race.
    • Go outside. Being in nature is a natural mood booster and can also lower stress.
    • Get creative. Simple, repetitive actions (e.g. kneading dough) can help you redirect your thoughts and tune out the chatter in your head.
  1. Be kind

It’s the season of giving, so this year, why not focus on giving kindness. Committing an act of kindness activates the ‘reward’ area of your brain, which means that you will feel good by doing good for others! There are lots of little acts of kindness you could do:

    • Say hello to someone as you pass them in the streets or in the mall.
    • If you see someone in the line at the till buying a single item, why not offer to pay for it.
    • Return your shopping trolley.
    • Support local by buying gifts from a local designer or shop.
    • Volunteer your time at a local charity.
    • Make it a point to help lift others up.
    • Put away your phone.
    • Be patient.
    • Think about what others may be feeling, and allow them to express themselves however they prefer.

But most importantly, be kind to YOURSELF. Only you will know what kindness you need most. Maybe it’s a massage, an evening at home with popcorn and a good book, a swim in the sea, or a luxurious bath instead of a rushed shower. Changing your self-talk is also a lasting gift you can offer yourself. If you find that you’re saying things about your looks or abilities that you would never say to anyone else, stop immediately. Replace the ‘abuse’ with a reminder that, like everyone else, you’re a work in progress, and you’re doing your best. Forgiveness is another great gift to yourself. Letting go of regrets and self-blame make us feel lighter and better able to appreciate all that we have.

No matter how you feel about the holidays, injecting some extra kindness is a great way to make the season more restful, more joyful, and to start a new year on a positive note. The world needs more kindness. Spread what you can!

References

  1. WebMD: How to quiet your mind.
  2. Headspace: 6 ways to practise mindfulness.
  3. Johns Hopkins Medicine: 4 mindful tips to de-stress this holiday season.

Are you degrading women, without realising it?

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are worse than poison.”

Your voice matters | Your words matter.

Those 20 000 women who marched to the Union Buildings on 8 August 1956, protesting against apartheid, knew this to be true. Thanks to them, and countless other voices, we now live in a world where there is more equality and freedom than 50 years ago. Thanks to these women who understood the power of their voice, and the power of their words.

But the opposite is also true. Most of the on-going experience of sexism, racism and other forms of prejudice is sourced in unconscious responses. We don’t even realise how our voice and our words affect others. Here are some important pointers to help you be more responsible with your speech.

  1. A single “No” should be enough.

It’s a classic scenario: a man hits on the woman in a bar. She kindly declines. The man assumes “she is playing hard-to-get”. She makes it clear that she is not interested and that he should please stop harassing her. The man says “she’s feisty”, so tries another angle.

This image is still so familiar, playing out countless times in countless situations: both in real life, and on TV. But it’s surely time for this to change.

When a woman says ‘no’, she obviously means ‘no’. This applies to the bedroom, the kitchen, the bar, at work, at home, on the street – everywhere.

Just imagine a waiter asking you if you’d like a drink, and you say, “No, thank you.” The next thing you know, the waiter starts behaving like this man at the bar – calling you feisty, hard-to-get, leaning in and trying to twist your arm to order a drink. At best, you’d find it annoying, at worst it would feel like harassment.

When women say, “No, thank you.”, it means the exact same thing as when men say “No, thank you.” So treat them accordingly.

  1. Watch out for those sneaky sexist comments

“You run like a girl”; “You throw like a girl”; “You’re such a girl”; “It’s because women can’t drive”; “Is it that time of the month again?”; “You’re becoming hysterical”.

These are a few examples of how, unwittingly, our words can degrade women. They’ve crept into our language, implying that someone is ‘less than a man’. Even if not directed at them, using female descriptions as an ‘insult’ reinforces the idea of male superiority.

  1. Call out others, with kindness

“It’s just a joke!”

The reason that sexism, racism and all other forms of prejudice persist, is that we don’t take it seriously. When we justify saying hurtful things, by claiming we were just joking, we are not taking responsibility. And, that includes failing to call each other out on it. Sadly, many men, and even women, might not even be aware that they are making sexist comments and essentially behaving shamefully towards women. When someone makes a sexist comment, it takes courage to call them out with kindness.

Shaming someone in public will only make them defensive and decrease the chance of them changing their behaviour. Rather, take them aside and help them understand their behaviour. Something like:
“Hey, John. I just wanted to tell you that the comment you made earlier about women driving badly is quite sexist. I’m sure you don’t mean badly, but I’d appreciate if you don’t make these kinds of comments in future.”

  1. Address women by their name – not your pet-name

“I’m not your ‘girl’, ‘honey’, ‘dear’, ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’.”

Unless it’s your romantic partner, and she likes her pet-name, don’t address a woman by some pet-name. Treating women like pets, property, or romantic partners, is another nasty way our language degrades. Imagine doing the exact same with a man; you’ll soon realise just how inappropriate it is.

  1. Cultivate respect for women beyond their ‘feminine’ qualities

Women are often praised for their beauty, their looks, their finesse, style, elegance and bodies. Although these qualities aren’t bad in themselves, unfortunately many people limit their value of women to these superficial qualities. When women are only recognised for their physical attributes, rather than their deeper qualities, their strength, intelligence, resilience, success, dignity, and simply their humanity, is diminished.

When you interact with women in the workplace or elsewhere, notice their non-physical attributes, and make a point of recognising and acknowledging these publicly.

Resources:

  • www.abc.net.au: Words you should avoid using about women in the workplace
  • www.bustle.com: 7 Sneaky ways internalised misogyny manifests in our everyday lives

HIV/Aids: How we are winning against this disease

We’ve come a long way since HIV/Aids first showed up in South Africa in 1982. Unfortunately, due to a complex political history, we only really started addressing the problem in the mid-90s when South Africa already had the largest population of HIV-positive people in the world.

HIV is not yet under control. Infections are still on the rise in young people, and many who have the disease, don’t take medication. Despite this, it’s important for us to look at the progress we’ve made, and remind ourselves that although the battle is tough, there still is hope.

What we have accomplished so far

  • Mother-to-child transmissions (where HIV-positive moms infect their new-borns) dropped from 8% in 2008 to 2% in 2012, and the number of children who are HIV positive has dropped by 20%. This is thanks to well-monitored antenatal programmes.
  • 92% of people living with HIV now know their status and 70% of people with HIV are receiving treatment.
  • 64% of people who are HIV positive, are virally suppressed – which means the treatment is helping them live normal, healthy lives.
  • We are the first country in sub-Saharan Africa to approve PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), which is medication taken to prevent getting HIV, particularly for people who are at risk of exposure, such as healthcare workers, people with multiple sex partners or drug abusers (by injection).
  • South Africa has the largest antiretroviral treatment (ART) programme in the world, offering treatment to HIV-positive patients. Thanks to some success in these programmes, we have seen a decline in new infections for pregnant women, as well as young adults aged 15 to 24.

What we still need to do

Nevertheless, HIV infection is still on the rise in our country, especially among adults over 25. In addition, many young people still don’t have enough knowledge on how to prevent the spread of HIV, especially those who are uninformed or living in rural locations.

What you can do to help 

  1. Know your status
    If you haven’t been tested yet, do so today. We all need to know our HIV status and we need to get checked regularly.
  1. Abstain
    Try to avoid a sexual relationship, unless you are sure that you can have safe, protected sex with a single partner. There are also safer alternatives to getting intimate without having sexual intercourse.
  1. Always practice and promote safe sex
    Unless you are in a committed relationship where you only have sex with one person, and you are sure that person is faithful, you should always practice safe sex. With multiple partners, you are at higher risk of getting HIV. The use of condoms is the best option to protect you against HIV. Visit your GP or local clinic to find out more about prevention.
  1. Support HIV-awareness organisations
    There are several NGOs and organisations helping to spread the word and educate people on HIV/Aids. Here are a few organisations you can support by joining their campaigns, giving financial support, or volunteering:

Even though World Aids Day is commemorated on 1 December, you can get involved with spreading awareness anytime of the year. Visit https://www.worldaidsday.org/ to find out more.

Resources:

Women are successful in their own right

Traditional gender norms suggest that men are naturally strong and assertive, while women are the nurturers and care givers. Despite significant progress in the field of gender equality, traditional gender roles in the workplace, and elsewhere in life, can be difficult to shake.

Women are often told to “man-up” to become more successful. While it’s true that anyone who wants to be successful must be robust, tenacious and tough, women don’t need to buy into the idea that they need to mimic men to achieve their own success.

What is success?

Women are categorized differently than men in nearly every facet of both business and life, and while more women than men actually graduate from South African universities each year, they still don’t have equal representation in the workforce. These facts may influence how some women conceptualise the idea of success.

Success is defined as ‘the accomplishment of an aim or purpose’. Yes, that does means that high paying executive positions might be important, but so too is personal happiness, a feeling of belonging, and physical and mental health. Essentially, success is linked to the choices you make, the goals your set, and the actions you take to reach them. It’s about embracing the freedom to live by your own values, regardless of your gender.

Women bring their own skill set to the table

For women to be successful they do not need to be aggressive or forceful. Studies have found that, when compared to men, in the workplace women tend to be more:

  • Persuasive
  • Motivated
  • Empathetic
  • Flexible
  • Sociable

This means that women are likely to be more inclusive, with a team-building approach to leadership. Using their strong people skills to read situations, understand all sides of an argument and understanding the situation and the people involved, they achieve positive outcomes.

5 steps to achieving, maintaining and growing success

Key attributes for success include having a particular skill set, perseverance, believing in your business, and the willingness to work hard, and giving thought and action to new approaches. But there are equally important habits that, regardless of your industry, age or gender, can enhance your success, both at work and in life:

  1. Read more: Take time to read real books, interesting articles, or inspiring biographies. Avid readers are educated and informed, have increased focus as well as excellent memories, and writing and speaking skills.
  2. Sleep more: Sleep promotes cognition and memory, facilitates learning, recharges your mental and physical batteries, and generally helps you make the most of your days. With sufficient sleep you improve mental and physical health, reduce stress, and maintain the routine that is critical to healthy daily functioning.
  3. Exercise more: Besides improving heart and brain health, committing to a regular exercise schedule boosts your mood and confidence, allows you to set meaningful goals and builds both physical and mental strength, endurance and stamina.
  4. Relax more: Burnout is real! Carve out and protect your time to relax and destress every week. Success is as much about regular downtime time as working hard.
  5. Listen more: The most successful people know how to communicate with those around them, and how to best leverage their relationships with co-workers and colleagues. Aim to listen more, speak less.

At the end of the day, you really don’t need to be wearing pants to be successful. Women naturally have greater diversity in their life goals – something to be celebrated and embraced. Because of this diversity women can achieve just about anything they set their minds to – in the boardroom or anywhere else!

References

 

Finding light in the darkness

Start your day by scrolling through your Newsfeed and you’ll probably have at least 10 reasons to roll over and hide under the covers. There’s lots of suffering and struggle in the world, not to mention your personal challenges. Although you can reduce your exposure to news of suffering (actually don’t start your day with your newsfeed), suffering is still inevitable.

So, how do you build the emotional and mental muscles to push through the worst times? Here are 5 principles for life  – not just for the hard times, but for the good times as well.

  1. Acknowledge & validate your own experience

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, … It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. … Once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.” – Scott Peck

Many difficulties we face in life can cause suffering. Whether losing your job, getting divorced, or failing an exam – when you are in the midst of suffering – remember it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.

When we can allow ourselves to be sad, angry, in pain, or alone, we give ourselves the opportunity to work through our difficulties instead of avoiding them. So, don’t get angry at yourself for being sad, or shame yourself for feeling disappointed. By accepting your emotions as they arise you become the best friend to yourself, and that is one of the most important relationships you can develop – with yourself. 

  1. Seek support & connection

From this place of self-support, where you are your own best friend, it becomes easier to reach out to others. Studies show how important it is for us to connect with others.

Yes, we want to believe that it’s good to avoid ‘burdening’ others with our troubles. Truth is we have a better chance of overcoming difficulty if we go through it together. The strongest relationships are formed when people come together and share their suffering. This space of vulnerability encourages mutual support and trust that even if I am having a hard time, someone is there to hear me out, and willing to suffer with me.

If you don’t feel ready to trust and lean on your close relationships, why not reach out to a professional? Struggling to cope? Seek support from a counsellor, social worker or coach. It helps to have an unprejudiced ear to provide perspective.

  1. Learn to focus your attention on the whole picture

When faced with difficulty, most of us tend to fall into one of the following categories. Which one is more like you?

    • You feel overwhelmed by the problem. Your mind focuses and overthinks, imagining even worse case scenarios. You find it hard to think of anything other than the problem at hand – and maybe you even become depressed.
    • You ignore the problem – pretend it’s not there. Maybe you even hide behind ‘feel-good’ slogans like “It will be okay.” Or “It all works out in the end”. Maybe you try to ignore any responsibilities or actions you could take in the situation.

Most of us fall into either of these categories. We tend to be overly pessimistic, ‘worst-case-scenario’ minded, or overly optimistic, naïvely ‘ignoring-the-problem’.

A better way of looking at the world is to remind yourself of the WHOLE picture. If you tend to be in group A, strive to find some positive for every negative aspect of your situation. If you tend to be in group B, ask yourself: “Have I examined at the hard facts as well?” “Is there anything difficult I need to admit about the situation?” 

The more we train our minds to consider both the positive and negatives, the more realistic and resourceful our responses will be.

  1. Frame the situation as a learning opportunity

Whether you lost your job, money, or experienced a break-up, every event in life can also have valuable lessons to teach us. Once we have:

    • accepted our emotional response to the difficulty
    • found support and
    • looked at the whole picture,

we may be ready to consider what can be learned from the situation. Of course we can only really do this looking back – if we attempt to “learn” from a current distressing situation too early, we may just feel even more overwhelmed.

So, looking back at how we overcame past difficulties is a useful way to get perspective. Why not take a few minutes to reflect on some previous challenge and ask yourself?

What was it like when this happened to me? What did I feel, and think at the time?

How did I get through that situation?

Where did I find support during that time?

What are some of my best qualities that helped me in this situation?

If I could do anything differently, what would I have done?

What can I learn from that experience that I can apply to the next challenge I face? 

When we stop and reflect on our past experiences, we will be surprised at the rich wisdom life has taught us on our journey.

  1. Find Meaning in your suffering

“If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an eradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death, human life cannot be complete.” Victor Frankl

Victor Frankl survived the Nazi holocaust. In the concentration camp he endured more suffering than any of us will face in our lifetime. When he was liberated from the concentration camp he developed Logo-therapy. One of the main pieces of his wisdom he brought to the world was the importance of meaning.

Humans are naturally meaning-making. As children learn about the world, they will ask “why” a million times a day. It is how we make sense of things, and how we put life into perspective.

Some of us draw insights from religion or spirituality to help make sense of our experience, others have philosophy, while others have relationships. Important to remember though, is that without a way to make meaning of suffering, it can be really difficult to keep our strength and push through.

Every time we make our way through a challenging season, we rise into the next season with new strength, wisdom and resilience. Just remember the five steps:

    1. Accept your feelings, and be your own best friend,
    2. Don’t go though it alone,
    3. Look at the big picture,
    4. Collect your learnings and wisdom,
    5. Make meaning of your experience.

You’ll be surprised at the wealth of wisdom and joy even the most painful experience can bring.

Respect your body. It’s the only one you have

It’s safe to say we’ve all been there, you are tired, so you skip making dinner and eat an unhealthy snack instead. You have a night out with friends and skip the gym the next morning. When work piles up, the first thing that suffers is sleep. The problem is, the more often this happens, the more your health is affected.

This is where body respect comes into play. It’s really difficult to take good care of something that you don’t respect. Even on those days when you may not feel that you’re up for that workout or a healthy meal, your body is still working 24/7 to keep you alive. Surely that deserves a bit of recognition.

Go back to the basics

Body respect truly means taking care of your health and this can be accomplished by meeting your body’s basic needs. These days, health and wellness advice can be overwhelming and confusing. Often, it’s easier to just give up than to try and navigate these murky waters! Fortunately, it is possible to live fad-free in a fad-filled wellness world. And to do this, you just need to go back to basics. There is substantial evidence to suggest that specific lifestyle behaviours not only lower your risk of developing diseases, but also improve your longevity and quality of life.

There are five key habits that you need to remember when it comes to showing your body some respect.

  1. Eat well: eat a diet rich in unprocessed, fresh food and eliminate refined sugars and carbohydrates
  2. Move more: aim to exercise for at least 30 minutes on most days of the week. If 30 minutes is too much, break this up into 3 x 10 minute sessions throughout the day
  3. Make sleep a priority: never skimp on sleep in favour of getting more work done
  4. Avoid risky behaviours: don’t smoke, always use a condom, wear a helmet and don’t do drugs
  5. Know your numbers: blood pressure and diabetes are both “silent” conditions, meaning they don’t easily show symptoms. Have your blood pressure and glucose checked at least once a year

Healthy habits get on well together

Each one of these habits has a positive spill-over effect into the others. If you exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet for example, you are less likely to be stressed, overweight or develop high blood pressure. If you prioritise your sleep, you’re more likely to have the energy to exercise. Furthermore, if you don’t smoke and overdo it at the bar on a Friday night, your risk for heart disease and several types of cancers is significantly reduced. If you know what your current blood pressure and diabetes risk is, you can take steps like exercising and eating well to address it.

The bottom line here really is that, respecting your body doesn’t need to be hard work, complicated or confusing. Sticking to the basics and making small sustainable changes will go a long way in improving your overall health. Adopt the concept of ‘progress’ and drop the idea of a ‘perfect lifestyle’. Expecting perfection guarantees you’ll feel like a failure at least some of the time!

Cultivating self-respect through gratitude

R.E.S.P.E.C.T! Yes, it’s a well-known song and a word often used when it comes to teaching children how to interact with adults, but there is more to it than just being a catchy tune. Respect is effectively the glue that holds relationships together. It can be defined as “esteem for, or a sense of the worth, or excellence of a person, a personal quality, or ability”. Without respect, interpersonal relationships are filled with conflict and dissatisfaction. When we don’t respect others, they are unlikely to respect us. But perhaps more importantly, if we don’t respect ourselves, how can we expect others to respect us?

The value of self-respect

To show respect to others, you must first have respect for yourself. Self-respect means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first. Essentially, self-respect motivates you to hold yourself in high esteem; meaning you’re more likely to choose things that nurture your physical health and mental well-being.

In both a work and home environment, a healthy level of self-respect enables you to have the confidence to set firm boundaries. It means knowing what you stand for, what your values are, and being accepting of both your strengths and weaknesses.

Cultivating self-respect through gratitude

One of the most effective ways of nurturing self-respect is through gratitude. Gratitude is simply defined as the state of being grateful. It involves expressing thanks or appreciation for something; from a small gift, to life itself. Gratitude involves recognising all the positive things in your life and how they affect you. This can range from acknowledging a beautiful flower on the side of the road, to being mindful of those feelings of thanks that come from recovering from an illness.

Whilst practising gratitude doesn’t cost any money, and certainly doesn’t take much time, the benefits can be beneficial and impact your self-esteem and overall well-being in a significant way. Higher levels of gratitude have also been associated with:

  • Improved physical health as a result of a lowered stress response
  • Improved mental health as a result of improved mood and less anxiety
  • Improved empathy and less aggression by improving sensitivity
  • Improved sleep
  • Improved resilience to both stress and trauma

Embark on a 21-day gratitude challenge

How much difference can three weeks make in your life? Just three weeks of consciously practising gratitude could be a real-life changer. A 21-day gratitude challenge can help you foster a new attitude by looking for the good around you and expressing thankfulness for it. In turn, gratitude can boost your self-respect especially when you intentionally notice and appreciate other people being good to you, or even your environment. It can really help you develop a stronger sense of your own value.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Gratitude journaling – keep a diary of things you’re grateful for every day. Think about a single moment from the day, an interaction with your favourite person, or list five things you’re grateful for that day. It doesn’t even have to be a physical journal. Download an app or keep a note on your phone. This makes it easier to quickly record something you feel grateful for in the moment.

Gratitude jars – whenever something good happens, or you feel thankful for something, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Whenever you’re feeling down, give the jar a shake and pick out one piece of paper. This technique will remind you of something good in your life that you can appreciate. It can help you recall simple pleasures that you might have otherwise forgotten.

Gratitude mapping – create a visual ‘mood board’ of everything you’re grateful for. Place this somewhere you will easily see it to remind you to be grateful every day.

Make the commitment to find time every day to be grateful for something small. This way you’re likely to naturally develop a more optimistic outlook towards others and yourself. Plus, you may be surprised to find out just how good your life really is!

References

Building your community to enrich everyone

You know that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you do something for someone else? Turns out those feelings do more than just making you feel fuzzy; they have a significant impact on your health. Yes, the idea that giving to others can be good for your health and happiness might feel like a bit of a stretch. But a growing body of scientific research shows exactly that. It is now clear that doing good for others, without any expectation of reward, improves your physical and mental health, and may even help you live longer.

Giving is good for you

Just how ‘good for you’ can it be? Studies suggest that volunteering can reduce your risk of early mortality by between 24% to 44%, even after accounting for factors like differences in prior health status.

From boosting self-confidence to lowering depression, there are several health benefits associated with engaging in community service. Studies have identified that regularly volunteering is associated with:

  • Lower rates of depression
  • Lower rates of high blood pressure
  • Higher rates of physical activity
  • Improved sense of purpose and social connection
  • Lower stress levels and an improved resilience to stress

Giving is at the very core of community. It promotes a sense of trust and co-operation, and it’s this type of interaction that strengthens relationships and helps you feel closer to others. The act of giving also floods your brain with happy hormones, including oxytocin,  the hormone that generates feelings of warmth, euphoria, and connection to others.

The great thing is that you don’t have to spend money to give; you can get the same healthy and feel-good benefits from donating something, like your time or your expertise.

How to find the right volunteer group for you

Simply type ”volunteer in South Africa” into a Google search and you’ll be met with hundreds of exciting sounding opportunities. Obviously, any type of volunteering work you do will help others, but the real key to deriving health benefits from volunteering is to do it for the right reasons. Studies have found that participants who volunteered with some regularity lived longer, but only if their intentions were truly altruistic. In other words, they had to be volunteering to help others… not to make themselves feel better.

Before you hit the internet searching for the ideal volunteering opportunity, consider the following factors that will ensure that both you, and those who you are offering to help, gain the maximum benefit:

  1. Start with your passion – Animals? Children? Healthcare?
  2. Know what you have to offer: understand your own skillset, and be honest with what you have to offer.
  3. Understand your commitment level – don’t offer up more time than you have.
  4. Try to align your passion with reality – volunteering at an animal rescue centre when you are allergic to cats is unlikely to benefit anyone!
  5. Do your research on the types of organisations you would like to work with

Once you have a clear idea of who, or what, it is you’d like to assist, you can start your search and embark on your new journey! Aristotle once wrote that the essence of life is “To serve others and do good.” If the research is anything to go by, serving others might also be the essence of good health!

RESOURCES

Can’t find anything that sparks an interest? Have a look at Forgood which matches up volunteers with needy organisations: https://www.forgood.co.za/

REFERENCES