Itâs the time of your life! Youâre all on your own with all the freedom in the world. Being at university can be one of the most exciting times of your life.
But, it can come with a downside. It may be the first time youâre away from home, and â for some â all your family and friends. But donât worry â youâre not alone!
Homesickness
Feeling homesick at university is normal and youâre most likely to feel that way at first. This is because youâve left behind everything that youâre familiar with; friends, family and your usual environment. The sense of loss that you feel may resolve over time as you get used to your new surroundings and make friends, but itâs also possible that to âget stuckâ in this feeling. The loneliness can become quite intense at times.
This is normal. Loneliness isnât an unnatural feeling at university. You donât have to pretend to be âstrongâ and hold it all together: everyone feels lonely sometimes. On top of that, you may also feel stressed, insecure and vulnerable. When youâre feeling this way, there are a few things you can try:
- Fill your room with a few familiar things that remind you of home – just enough special items to give you a sense of comfort.
- When you find the loneliness coming on, donât sit in your room and let it build. Immediately find a way to distract your mind. Read a book, or go outdoors. Visit the cafeteria or library on campus. Explore your new surroundings.
- Practise talking. Yes, this is exactly what it sounds like. If small talk with strangers makes you tongue-tied, do a few practice runs before an event. In the privacy of your room, chat to yourself. Stand in front of a mirror to really get a feel for being more approachable and relaxed.
- Whatâs the most obscure, crazy, random activity youâve always wanted to try? Maybe itâs painting, or pottery, or boxing? Chances are, your university has a club or group. Beating loneliness is about taking a step out of the scared box. Remember, none of those people know you so thereâs nothing to be shy about. However, if it all works out, you may just end up with some new friends!
Itâs okay to be alone sometimes
Being alone is not all bad. Healthy people are capable of being alone. This is, in fact, good for your mental wellbeing. It gives you time to explore your own mind, your likes and dislikes. When you get to know yourself better, you can handle the stressors of life better, and grow in confidence.
If all else fails
See a campus counsellor. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help. It takes a lot more guts to ask for help, than to keep struggling on your own. A counsellor can help you find ways to effectively combat loneliness and stress, and truly make the best of the best years of your life!
Good to know
- Donât blame yourself for how you feel. Itâll only make you feel worse.
- Tell yourself that loneliness is just a visitor who will eventually leave.
- When youâre having a bad day, remember that thereâs always tomorrow.
- Try volunteering. Helping someone in need takes the focus off how youâre feeling.
- Donât bottle up your feelings, talk to someone about how you feel. You can also try writing in a journal. Often, our feelings become smaller and less scary when we see them reflected back to us on paper.
