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EQ or IQ? Make emotional intelligence your strongest power

September 23rd, 2022 by The Hello Doctor Team

With October being Mental Health Awareness Month, here are some ways to boost your emotional intelligence to live a more balanced, successful and happy life.

Make emotional intelligence your strongest power

Imagine life as a kind of RPG (that’s role-playing game for non-gamers). When we choose our character, we focus on the qualities we feel will best serve us to win the game. ‘Intelligence’, ‘strength’ and ‘strategy’ tend to top the list. Yet, as it turns out, in the real game of life we need more than textbook ‘cleverness’. Actually, it’s our emotional intelligence that is the most potent power of all.

As human beings, we have evolved to where we are largely employing our natural survival instincts. Emotions are a crucial part of that. Think about it. Without fear, we wouldn’t recognise the need to run from danger. Without a sense of vulnerability, we wouldn’t have devised ways to keep ourselves safe. Without a yearning to connect, we wouldn’t have made the social links that make us stronger. Part of the problem is that in our science-and progress-oriented world, we tend to focus on intellectual intelligence (IQ) and downplay our emotional feelings.

Yet, since emotions tend to make us feel vulnerable, we tend to put a defence system in place. Because anger and aggression appear to be more powerful, they are often used to disguise sorrow or fear, particularly in men. In fact, male depression and anxiety sufferers are more likely to show signs of anger, irritability and rage, rather than sadness or anxiety.

Researchers are discovering that in living a successful life, or emotional awareness, our ability to express our emotional selves (EQ), is equally, if not more, important than traditional IQ. With October being Mental Health Awareness Month, here are some ways to boost your emotional intelligence to live a more balanced, successful and happy life.

Steps for emotional strength 

  1. Be self-aware. In order to make improvements, you need to know ‘where you are now’, that means ‘what you are feeling’. Developing self-awareness is the best way to do that.
  2. Follow the why. Since there is a ‘reason’ for every feeling, start using the word ‘why’ to help identify what’s really going on emotionally. For example, someone might push in front of you in a queue and you feel that hot flare of rage. Ask yourself ‘why’? Is it because I’m angry? Why? Is it because they’re rude? Why does their rudeness make me angry? Is it because I feel disrespected? And so on. By following the ‘why’s’, you’ll be able to explore your emotions more deliberately. Writing these thoughts down can also be helpful. If you don’t feel comfortable journaling on paper, try a wipe-clean whiteboard or make voice recordings.
  3. Testing, testing. You can’t do a standardised test to figure out your EQ, as you might with IQ, but there are various appraisal methods to do so. Although a quick self-assessment may not be sufficient for an in-depth analysis, it will give you some idea of where you stand.
  4. Get help. If you’re really struggling to get going, reach out for professional help – the combination of a counsellor’s expertise in recognising emotions and a non-judgemental space will help in identifying emotions and working on them. Remember that free, confidential, professional support is available to you through your employer support programme. All you need to do is call the number in the footer of this article.
  5. Work out. We don’t expect to build muscles by hitting the gym once a month, so why should it be different for developing EQ? This process takes effort and focus, so don’t give up after a day. Keep going in cultivating self-awareness and, in time, you’ll surely be mastering your quest – and with that the game of life.

Your EQ tool kit 

References

Are you a long hauler?

August 23rd, 2022 by The Hello Doctor Team

As the COVID-19 pandemic progressed, it became evident that besides the potential for causing severe illness, many people can experience prolonged COVID symptoms. These can linger from weeks to months after their initial exposure to the virus. This is called ‘long-COVID’, or ‘post-acute COVID syndrome’. Those who experience it are known as the ‘long haulers’.

As with much else about COVID-19, long-COVID symptoms and their severity differ from person to person. That said, recent studies have found that 55% of long-COVID sufferers report profound fatigue, 25% have shortness of breath, and 26% have symptoms of depression.

Does this sound familiar?

COVID is teaching us things we never thought we needed to know; and one of those is that there is no such thing as a ‘typical’ COVID response. Yes, people with underlying conditions are at higher risk of severe illness, but we’ve also seen fit and healthy people with no health issues succumb to the disease. The same goes for long-COVID. It appears that most people who experience long-term symptoms may have had health issues before contracting the virus, or they developed very severe illness during their COVID-19 infection. But some people have no underlying issues at all and had mild symptoms when infected. So, when it comes to long-COVID, there certainly isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach!

Until recently, many people who experienced long-COVID weren’t taken all that seriously. It was only after the World Health Organisation published an official definition that more attention was given to the condition.

Some of the common symptoms of long-COVID include fatigue, breathing difficulties, insomnia, pain, and brain fog. Additionally, post-COVID-19 can adversely impact multiple organ systems, including the kidneys, lungs, pancreas, and heart. Symptoms may include a new onset following initial recovery from an acute COVID-19 episode, or persistence of the initial illness. Symptoms may also fluctuate or relapse over time.

Every long-COVID patient is different, and as such, every patient will need treatment specific to their symptoms. Education, support groups, stress management, stigma management and lifestyle changes can all help ease symptoms. Sleep is especially important, as is physical activity – as much as the body will allow. An important management tool is to track your patterns. Try to identify the triggers that bring on the utter exhaustion, headache or muscle aches, and avoid those as much as possible.

Finally, don’t be afraid to be vocal about how you’re feeling. Be open and honest with your doctor and your support structures about the symptoms you may be experiencing.

References

How up-to-date are you on physical movement?

April 28th, 2022 by The Hello Doctor Team

Got a few minutes to spare?

It isn’t breaking news that exercise is good for you, in fact physical inactivity is one of the leasing causes of chronic disease worldwide. That said, it is estimated that less than half of all South African adults meet the minimum criteria of health-promoting activity.

A recent study has found that adding in just a few minutes of activity into your day, every day, can lower your risk of disease.

Just how many minutes is a few? 

Increased physical activity is shown to lower the risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and high blood pressure, yet many adults still claim to be unable to find the time to exercise.

A recent study found that walking just 10 extra minutes a day could prevent more than 100,000 deaths each year. That number rises to over 200 000 prevented with an extra 20 minutes, and almost 300 000 deaths with an extra 30 minutes.

For optimal health, the global guidelines advise around 30 minutes of exercise on most days of the week, and yes, that can indeed be a bit of a stretch when taking time out of your busy daily schedule.

But, what this study does emphasise, is that every minute counts, and the more of them you can accumulate throughout the day, the better. If you aren’t already active, this research gives you the go-ahead to start small. If you are already doing some form of exercise, adding in an additional burst here and there is only going to benefit you!

Make those extra 10 minutes count by trying to increase the intensity of the activity – you want to aim for moderate to vigorous. A good way to judge your intensity is to use the ‘talk test’. With the optimal intensity, you’ll feel slightly short of breath and would struggle to maintain a conversation – whether with yourself or fellow exerciser.

Ultimately, this is just some more evidence to support the idea that moving more won’t only help you live better, it will also help you live longer!

References:

Respect your body. It’s the only one you have

June 23rd, 2021 by The Hello Doctor Team

It’s safe to say we’ve all been there, you are tired, so you skip making dinner and eat an unhealthy snack instead. You have a night out with friends and skip the gym the next morning. When work piles up, the first thing that suffers is sleep. The problem is, the more often this happens, the more your health is affected.

This is where body respect comes into play. It’s really difficult to take good care of something that you don’t respect. Even on those days when you may not feel that you’re up for that workout or a healthy meal, your body is still working 24/7 to keep you alive. Surely that deserves a bit of recognition.

Go back to the basics

Body respect truly means taking care of your health and this can be accomplished by meeting your body’s basic needs. These days, health and wellness advice can be overwhelming and confusing. Often, it’s easier to just give up than to try and navigate these murky waters! Fortunately, it is possible to live fad-free in a fad-filled wellness world. And to do this, you just need to go back to basics. There is substantial evidence to suggest that specific lifestyle behaviours not only lower your risk of developing diseases, but also improve your longevity and quality of life.

There are five key habits that you need to remember when it comes to showing your body some respect.

  1. Eat well: eat a diet rich in unprocessed, fresh food and eliminate refined sugars and carbohydrates
  2. Move more: aim to exercise for at least 30 minutes on most days of the week. If 30 minutes is too much, break this up into 3 x 10 minute sessions throughout the day
  3. Make sleep a priority: never skimp on sleep in favour of getting more work done
  4. Avoid risky behaviours: don’t smoke, always use a condom, wear a helmet and don’t do drugs
  5. Know your numbers: blood pressure and diabetes are both “silent” conditions, meaning they don’t easily show symptoms. Have your blood pressure and glucose checked at least once a year

Healthy habits get on well together

Each one of these habits has a positive spill-over effect into the others. If you exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet for example, you are less likely to be stressed, overweight or develop high blood pressure. If you prioritise your sleep, you’re more likely to have the energy to exercise. Furthermore, if you don’t smoke and overdo it at the bar on a Friday night, your risk for heart disease and several types of cancers is significantly reduced. If you know what your current blood pressure and diabetes risk is, you can take steps like exercising and eating well to address it.

The bottom line here really is that, respecting your body doesn’t need to be hard work, complicated or confusing. Sticking to the basics and making small sustainable changes will go a long way in improving your overall health. Adopt the concept of ‘progress’ and drop the idea of a ‘perfect lifestyle’. Expecting perfection guarantees you’ll feel like a failure at least some of the time!

Cultivating self-respect through gratitude

June 23rd, 2021 by The Hello Doctor Team

R.E.S.P.E.C.T! Yes, it’s a well-known song and a word often used when it comes to teaching children how to interact with adults, but there is more to it than just being a catchy tune. Respect is effectively the glue that holds relationships together. It can be defined as “esteem for, or a sense of the worth, or excellence of a person, a personal quality, or ability”. Without respect, interpersonal relationships are filled with conflict and dissatisfaction. When we don’t respect others, they are unlikely to respect us. But perhaps more importantly, if we don’t respect ourselves, how can we expect others to respect us?

The value of self-respect

To show respect to others, you must first have respect for yourself. Self-respect means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first. Essentially, self-respect motivates you to hold yourself in high esteem; meaning you’re more likely to choose things that nurture your physical health and mental well-being.

In both a work and home environment, a healthy level of self-respect enables you to have the confidence to set firm boundaries. It means knowing what you stand for, what your values are, and being accepting of both your strengths and weaknesses.

Cultivating self-respect through gratitude

One of the most effective ways of nurturing self-respect is through gratitude. Gratitude is simply defined as the state of being grateful. It involves expressing thanks or appreciation for something; from a small gift, to life itself. Gratitude involves recognising all the positive things in your life and how they affect you. This can range from acknowledging a beautiful flower on the side of the road, to being mindful of those feelings of thanks that come from recovering from an illness.

Whilst practising gratitude doesn’t cost any money, and certainly doesn’t take much time, the benefits can be beneficial and impact your self-esteem and overall well-being in a significant way. Higher levels of gratitude have also been associated with:

  • Improved physical health as a result of a lowered stress response
  • Improved mental health as a result of improved mood and less anxiety
  • Improved empathy and less aggression by improving sensitivity
  • Improved sleep
  • Improved resilience to both stress and trauma

Embark on a 21-day gratitude challenge

How much difference can three weeks make in your life? Just three weeks of consciously practising gratitude could be a real-life changer. A 21-day gratitude challenge can help you foster a new attitude by looking for the good around you and expressing thankfulness for it. In turn, gratitude can boost your self-respect especially when you intentionally notice and appreciate other people being good to you, or even your environment. It can really help you develop a stronger sense of your own value.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

Gratitude journaling – keep a diary of things you’re grateful for every day. Think about a single moment from the day, an interaction with your favourite person, or list five things you’re grateful for that day. It doesn’t even have to be a physical journal. Download an app or keep a note on your phone. This makes it easier to quickly record something you feel grateful for in the moment.

Gratitude jars – whenever something good happens, or you feel thankful for something, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in a jar. Whenever you’re feeling down, give the jar a shake and pick out one piece of paper. This technique will remind you of something good in your life that you can appreciate. It can help you recall simple pleasures that you might have otherwise forgotten.

Gratitude mapping – create a visual ‘mood board’ of everything you’re grateful for. Place this somewhere you will easily see it to remind you to be grateful every day.

Make the commitment to find time every day to be grateful for something small. This way you’re likely to naturally develop a more optimistic outlook towards others and yourself. Plus, you may be surprised to find out just how good your life really is!

References

Nurture your inner child, no matter your age

June 3rd, 2021 by The Hello Doctor Team

‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’ A clichĂ©? Yes, but there may just be a dot of truth to it. Everyone knows that play is good for kids. It promotes physical and mental development and provides an opportunity for healthy social interaction. But as kids get older, time for free play gets less, until adulthood, when it just about disappears altogether. Truth is, it’s time to put play back on your agenda. Playing as an adult isn’t just about goofing off from your responsibilities, it’s an important means of reducing stress and improving overall well-being.

What is “play?”

Play is easy to recognise amongst kids – a game of tag, or ‘hide and seek’. But how you play as an adult is as unique to you as your fingerprint. It could be collecting something, reading a book, pole dancing, climbing a mountain, or anything in between. Play is something that offers you a sense of engagement and pleasure. It takes you away from your daily routine and away from your sense of place and time. Most importantly, the actual experience of doing it is more important than the outcome.

The health benefits of play

  1. Less stress

Playful adults have the ability to transform everyday situations, even stressful ones, into something entertaining. Studies have found highly playful young adults — those who rated themselves high on personality characteristics such as spontaneity, energy, or being open to ‘clowning around’ — reported less stress in their lives and had better coping skills.

  1. Better bonding

Participating in fun and relaxing activities with family and friends brings you closer to them. By sharing an experience, particularly one that releases feel-good endorphins and  bonding oxytocin, you connect more closely and are more likely to want to repeat it in the future.

  1. More energy

Play can help restore vitality and make you feel more energized and resilient. Plus, if you’re spending your playtime outside, the exposure to nature and fresh air can also improve your mood and energy levels.

  1. Sweet dreams

The more you move around, the better you sleep! Active play improves overall sleep quality and increases the amount of restorative sleep you enjoy each night. It also helps cue your body to fall asleep at a similar time each night since your energy levels will naturally start to reduce earlier after being active, especially if experienced outdoors.

  1. Improved productivity and creativity

Any challenge that you expose yourself too stimulates your brain to work harder and form new connections, helping to prevent age related decline. Play can also change the way you think, establishing new neural connections that allow you to be more creative. Several studies have established a link between playing with words (play doesn’t always need to be physical!) and confidence with writing and speaking.

Easy ways to play more

Play is a basic human need and is as essential to your well-being as sleep. So, when you’re low on play, your mind and body notices! Over time play deprivation can reveal itself in how you feel: irritable, stuck in a rut, or just a bit “down”. To benefit most from the rejuvenating benefits of play, ensure you include it into your everyday life, not just when you’re on holiday! Rediscover your inner child and embrace that feeling of pure joy. Don’t overthink it, just do what feels good for you! Here are a few examples:

  • Splash in puddles next time it rains
  • Flay frisbee
  • Sing karaoke
  • Play Charades or Pictionary
  • Fly a kite
  • Try finger-painting or making something with Playdough
  • Climb a tree
  • Build something with Lego (instructions optional)
  • Skip
  • Blow bubbles
  • Go down a slide
  • Skateboard

REFERENCES

http://www.nifplay.org/

http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/01490400.2013.761905

https://doi.org/10.1177%2F026565909601200307

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