The line-up: Booze under the spotlight

“So, you’ve been busy, my friend. You’ve caused a lot of trouble, using your addictiveness on people who don’t fully understand how dangerous you actually are! But we’ve got you this time! Here’s the proof.”

We’ve taken a few alcoholic beverages hostage, to get you all the info you need to enjoy drinking responsibly.

“Just look at how much damage you’ve caused!”

Ah, vodka, he’s evolved quite a bit. After some special methods of intimidation, he’s confessed to being partners with a group of energy drinks, causing even more havoc than before!

Their little ninja accomplice, caffeine, may be unassuming, but packs a punch! They’re the reason you stay out until the early hours of the morning, make bad decisions and feel panicky during the night.

A fun little set-up both of them have, so be careful that you don’t fly too high by combining spirits and caffeine – you could regret it in the morning!

“It’s time to break you down!”

So, what exactly do these different drinks hide? We’ve lined them up for you from the highest to the lowest amount of calories.


The South African Food Tables show that, “beer with an average alcohol content of 4,6% v/v (volume of alcohol in the beer) provides 172 kJ of energy per 100 ml.

We’ll do the math for you in case you’re a bit tipsy – it means that every beer you’re drinking (if it’s a pint – usually 500ml) you’re taking in 200 calories (the same as a glazed doughnut!) You wouldn’t feel great after 10 doughnuts, would you?


These contain even more calories – and it also depends what you mix your spirits with. If you have a double shot of vodka and mix it with a 330ml can of Coke, that’s 332 calories! 5 of those and you’ve already clocked up 1160 calories!


This wasn’t easy. It took a while to roundup the different varieties. We’ve been able to extract concrete evidence that they’ve been causing harm, not only by the amount of calories they have, but their alcohol content, too.

Each of the bottled henchmen are carrying, on average, 13.5% of alcohol – after a few glasses, you’re not even going to know how many calories you’ve consumed!

And this is why you pee so much when you drink:

Have you noticed that you pee more than usual when you drink? That’s because alcohol (also known as Ethanol) dehydrates your body.

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This can cause:

  • Dizziness
  • Thirst
  • Severe headache
  • Diarrhoea

One answer to avoiding a hangover is to keep your body hydrated throughout the night – drink lots of water after you’ve had a beer or any other alcoholic drink.

Another great cure for a hangover is to eat some food as soon as you wake up. Try some of these foods to fight a hangover.

“Where are those abs you’ve been hiding?”

So, we learned that beer is one of the drinks who’s been stealing your six-pack abs. But, the game is up! We know his secrets and have the answer to the question: Why am I getting a beer belly?

Just like junk food, your drink of choice contains mostly calories that don’t provide you with any nutrition. You’re taking in extra, unnecessary calories that your body will store as fat…and the belly inflation begins…

The key to deflating your belly and recovering your long-lost abs is simple: whatever you’re drinking, drink less! Studies have shown that it’s not what you’re drinking, but how much, that causes weight gain.

So, any drink can cause weight gain! Need an example? Here it is: If you’re a 70kg male, your body should be happy with about 300g of steak, 2 slices of bread, 500g of tomatoes, 2 bananas 2 eggs and 2 cups of milk per day. How much wine can you drink with the same amount of calories? 16 glasses. That may sound like a lot now, but if you add up what you eat and drink together, you can easily cross the barrier and get way too much calories per day.

“But one of you does have some health benefits, I’ll give you that.”

Red wine has actually been shown to provide health benefits to your heart. This is because it contains antioxidants, which help to lower high blood pressure. The wine also has Resveratrol, which helps prevent damage to blood vessels in your heart – as long as you drink it in moderation!

“…And there it is! What do you have to say for yourself? Still nothing? Well, I’m just going to leave you to ferment for a while and we’ll talk again! “

Sources:, Mayoclinic, Food and Wine, Drink