It’s normal to feel a dip in your sex drive as you get older. As life and work takes its toll, the occasional drop in your hormones is perfectly common. Before beating yourself up about it, let’s get a better understanding for why this happens:
- Stress & sleep. Stressful events can take over your everyday life, and can drain the sexual energy right out of you – more so if you’re not getting enough sleep. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that a good night’s rest greatly enhances a woman’s sex drive. So, the more you sleep, the better your sex life.
- Sickness & PMS. You won’t be feeling too sexy when your nose is running and the pile of tissues next to your bed grows exponentially. Likewise, PMS may leave you temporarily uninterested in sex. But more serious illnesses like hypothyroidism, diabetes, cancer, heart and lung disorders, and STIs could also be responsible for the drop in your sex drive. If you suspect something more serious, make an appointment with your doctor.
- Medication. Before you pop that headache tablet, consider it might be reason for your disinterest in sex. Many prescription and over-the-counter drugs can decrease your sexual appetite. These include antidepressants, birth control pills, and blood pressure medications. Ask your doctor about any side-effects of medication.
- Life-events. If you’ve recently married, ended a relationship, changed jobs or moved, you may be mentally and physically out of sorts. Lifestyle changes are yet another form of stress, and even if they’re positive ones, they can sometimes adversely affect your sex life.
- Ageing. While some studies have revealed that sexual responsiveness may get better with age, hormonal imbalances in perimenopausal and menopausal women lead to a diminished sex drive. Some women may have an aversion to touch, and intercourse can be painful from vaginal dryness caused by a drop in oestrogen.
Light up your libido
Learning to love your body is probably one of the best ways of developing a strong sense of sexuality. If you feel uncomfortable with your physical self, you may hide your body from your partner, which can lead to a slow-down in sexual activity. Explore ways of building your body confidence; maybe take a dance class or splash out on some sexy lingerie.
Allowing yourself to explore a new erotic desire or fantasy can also spark newfound interest in sex. Be bold, think out loud with your partner: what is your absolute sexual fantasy? Now’s the time to try things out!
Food can play a role in getting your libido revved up again. Some research shows that red meat, particularly grass-fed beef, is a prime source of zinc which is said to up testosterone levels, while minimising prolactin (a hormone that affects sexual function). Other sexy foods include:
- Salmon: Boosts blood flow to the genitals.
- Chocolate: One of the most famous aphrodisiacs! Go for dark chocolate for an extra feelgood boost.
- (A little) wine: A Journal of Sexual Medicine study found that a glass of red wine can heighten sexual desire in women. Wine has antioxidants that trigger nitric oxide production in the blood, which relaxes artery walls.
Talking about your sexual discontent with a trusted friend, your partner, an online support group or a good therapist can help you sort out some of the emotional or psychological issues that might be causing you grief. Sexual disinterest that stems from a physical problem, like a hormone imbalance, or depression, may need to be treated with medication. Don’t be shy about speaking to one of our doctors: we’re here to support you with trusted advice!