Last longer in bed: The Men’s Guide

The mood is set and you’re ready to rock her world. Uh oh… problem alert: in the throes of passion, you realise you may finish too soon. While it may be embarrassing, just know that this is a common problem, and nothing to be ashamed of!

Can you keep up?

Premature ejaculation affects about 30% of men before or after sexual intercourse, and usually happens between one to three minutes into sex. There’s no clear reason for the problem. Some factors that can contribute include:

  • a new partner
  • different sexual setting
  • hyperactive reflexes
  • extreme arousal
  • infrequent sexual activity
  • sensitive genital skin
  • depression

Pre-ejaculation a common sexual challenge. Usually, it’s not an issue of age or even race; but rather a psychological and emotional state. In most cases for men in their 60s or 70s, pre-ejaculation is also linked to erectile dysfunction.

Your weight matters.

A recent study by Erciyes University in Turkey showed that overweight men on average last 90 seconds longer in bed than leaner men. The research suggests that men who’ve suffered from pre-ejaculation during sex were thinner than men who last longer before orgasming. They suspect that it’s due to the higher presence of a female hormone called estradiol, which suppresses orgasms for males.

Slow and steady wins the race

The truth is; if you get anxious about your problem, this just makes matters worse. So, let’s start by taking a deep breath in, and out.

Your inability to delay ejaculation and the lack of control won’t be solved by rushing your sexual encounters. It just increases anxiety and affects overall performance. So, the focus of your energy should be to prolong the whole experience, not just try to last longer during sex itself. This way, you can both have an intense and enjoyable time.

Some practical tips:

  • Try relaxation techniques to delay your ejaculatory reflexes. Incorporate deep breathing and meditation into your daily workouts.
  • Do pelvic floor exercises. This is the muscle that stops you from weeing. To do these, you simply need to stop your flow mid-stream, using the internal muscles to contract. These exercises will strengthen pelvic muscles that support the bladder and bowel, and boost your sexual function and stamina.
  • Use slightly thicker condoms to reduce the sensation to the penis. Some condoms may give a numbing effect for you to last longer.
  • Try an anesthetic cream, gel or spray to help delay orgasm.
  • Squeeze the end of your penis before ejaculation; this releases the urge to ejaculate.
  • It may be worth your while to speak with a sex therapist. Often, these problems go beyond the physical and he can advise on techniques and strategies, while getting to the heart of your problem.
  • If you suffer from depression, your doctor may recommend antidepressants to help with pre-ejaculation.
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Stamina boosters:

  • Nuts: Boosts circulatory health and helps maintain an erection.
  • Oysters: High in zinc and amino acids that trigger the production of sex hormones.
  • Chocolate: These sweet goods release endorphins that induce feelings of excitement, pleasure and attraction.
  • Avocado: Packed with Vitamin B6 and folic acid to stabilise hormones.
  • Spinach: The high levels of magnesium can dilate your blood vessels which improves blood flow to the penis.
  • Eggs: Vitamins B6 and B5 in eggs can fight stress and boost libido levels in men and women.

Don’t be afraid to ask your doctor (or one of ours):

  • What’s causing the problem?
  • How can it be treated?
  • What kind of treatment do you recommend?
  • How soon after treatment will I see improvement?
  • Will this affect me for the rest of my life?
  • Does my sexual history have anything to do with it?

 In the meantime, communicate with your partner as this issue may put a strain on your relationship. Premature ejaculation is treatable.